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Thursday, June 25, 2009
Everyone is unique and special in their own way. We are all unique individuals with a whole universe of back story to each and every one of us, which we oft too easily forget because of the hustle and bustle surrounding us. Infiltrating and permeating into everything we do, such that that imminent sense of urgency and superficiality becomes the quotidian, and we forget what it once meant to be real, tangible and vulnerable. No one reaches out anymore, for fear of being taken for granted, or being hurt. It's nice when someone you meet randomly, develop a nice and brief relationship with, reminds you of the more important things, and that you are unique and insightful. We all need that someone to come by every once in a while, just to refuel us, lest we get burnt out and jaded. Life is too full of possibilities and undiscovered beauty for us to fall into that cesspool of dissatisfaction and bleakness, in spite of all the ugliness that shrouds it.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Everyone has issues. Everyone has issues and problems they encounter. Everyone has obstacles they overcome and everyone has stumbling blocks they trip over. I've got problems. I've got ADD. I'm obsessive compulsive. I'm a control freak. I have a shitty memory. I fail to take many things too seriously. I laugh at everything. I believe in an ideal world that ought to exist but doesn't. I believe in the goodness of humanity. I trust people too easily. I'm too emotionally vulnerable. I'm too cautious when it comes to trusting people. I get jealous in a heartbeat. I am possessive. I can ever control my emotions. I cry at anything, whether I'm sad or angry. I take everything too lightly. I have a natural lagtime of 2 weeks. I read too much into everything. I take many people for granted. I assume there is an inherent goodness in the universe. I am impatient. I try not to judge but I do. I fell into my zone of contention. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'd quite forgotten how strangely reassuringly good it feels to be angsty and cynical. It is very vey cathartic. Explains why George and Martha of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? are so fuckingly dysfunctional and cut-throat and wonderfully enthralling. Being to hunky-dorily happy leads one into a lull. That spark of cynicism and angst really does spice things up, doesn't it? Except of course the repercussions aren't always good. Whatever, fuck that shit. I'm over it.
Friday, June 19, 2009
I am often accused of interfering in the private lives of citizens. Yes, if I did not, had I not done that, we wouldn’t be here today. And I say without the slightest remorse, that we wouldn’t be here, we would not have made economic progress, if we had not intervened on very personal matters - who your neighbour is, how you live, the noise you make, how you spit, or what language you use. We decide what is right. Never mind what the people think. ( The Straits Times, 20 Apr 87) - Lee Kuan Yew,
Minister Mentor
*shudder*
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
And so it is,Just like you said it would be,Life goes easy on me,Most of the timeAnd so it is, He has the shorter storyNo love, no gloryNo hero in her sky......... And so it is,Just like you said it should beWe'll both forget the breezeMost of the time
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
[Random Thought of the Day]I guess some things last forever and some things just have a natural 'best before' date that you never saw coming.But that's life, hey? We move on and along. Just as natural selection takes place and the weaker species dies out, so do the intangible things we value start to dim and turn into shades of what they used to be.
Friday, April 17, 2009
I guess there'll always be moments of change and flux, and everything is constantly in motion. I feel like my life has reached a hiatus, and everything hangs on these 6weeks. How will I fare? How will I hold up? How will we hold up? Do I have the discipline? Do I possess the talent? Can I get my head around this paradigm shift? Will we mesh or clash? Everything and everyone I held dear to me has almost erased themselves from my life. Save for my family, it seems like the tide of transition has hit my universe, and as much as I try to clutch onto the past, those very things elude me. Is it time for an upheaval of my world as I know it? I guess all I can do is go with the flow and if the ebb and flow of life brings things and people further or closer to me, then so shall it be. One can't resist nature, that would be mere retrograding.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
I don't think I've experienced this sort of zen and calmness is a long long time. There is so much to do and potentially freak out about, but I am neither freaking out, nor getting my head bogged down. Positivity is sooo underrated. 'Nothing will come of nothing.' And similarly, positivity will breed positivity. It's karma of a different level. I will be happy and good to others because I choose to. Not because there is something in it for me at the end of the day, but because I want to be happy and nice. And that will start the cycle of happiness and niceties. And being nice to people I care for, or even people I don't know, makes me feel good about myself.There is no secret, it's all just mind over matter. You will get what you set yourself out to get. The universe will conspire against you and lead you where you want to go. You just need to be in the right head space with the right attitude.Now my task will be to maintain this attitude and mindset in Singapore.London will, no doubt, be trying, but I believe there is so much room for growth in those 6 weeks. It may seem like a holiday to most; a physical holiday, but I know it will test my mental endurance and strength and push it to an altogether higher level. 6 weeks is a lot and yet too little time to learn and grow. But learn and grow I will in that 6 weeks. The world is my oyster. Everything has worked out perfectly this far. And I believe it will continue to be a calm journey. By no means smooth sailing, but it will be calm, and I need to be calm and open and positive.I feel good about this. I am in control of my life, and I don't think there ever was a time before when I was in as much control of my life as I am now, and it gives me an utmost sense of satisfaction and joy to know that every step I take is my decision. Every sacrifice I make is my own. Every bridge is cross is my journey. This feels good. This is what I need: freedom, growth, independence, and that hint of the danger of the 'what if'. Knowing I could fall flat on my face but not listening to the nagging doubts and charging headstrong into the challenge. I know what mettle I am made of and I refuse to be brought down by my ego.One needs to throw away the ego, ignore the judge on the shoulder, to do great things. And I am ready. And I believe have the right companion to boost me along the way. I am truly blessed. And I have had too many people randomly telling me things along the way to reiterate that decision and give me support for me to develop any doubt in myself.
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