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Friday, July 04, 2008
Why am I so meek? Why do I put myself in situations where I feel awkward, and know not what to do? Why do I never grab the bull by the balls except when it doesn't matter? Let me be a girl for a moment, and since noone will listen to me whinge, let me indulge in a bit of online catharsis. I feel so totally stagnant. I need to get out of this abyss. I don't know where I'm going to get the funds from. I have no idea how I'm going to sustain myself if I forge through with this idea. The people here are dead. Things here possess a form I am not akin to. Yes, I AM Singaporean. Problem is, I don't feel Singaporean. How the fuck can I help it? What the fuck can I do? When I feel my friends judge me and I am incensed for the way I think, act and react, how can I trudge on here and keep taking all that bullshit? Don't preach at me. You have your mantra, I have mine. Don't tell me your philosophy. At the risk of sounding rude, I don't fucking care. I don't care that you think family is number 1. I don't care that not everyone is as lucky as I am. To be candid, shit happens. Some people have it lucky, some don't. Hate me for being one of the former. But don't tell me what you think I should do. If I have the opportunity to do whatever the hell I want to, then why the hell not? If you've got it, flaunt it, as Ulla says.Oh my God, I hate everything and everyone right now. Even you, the internet. I can't be bothered to write anymore. This is stupid, inane, and pointless. And definitely angsty. Fuck.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
boys you can break you find out how much they can take boys will be strong and boys soldier on- daughters, john mayer(stolen from Dong)Well you done done me and you bet I felt it I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted I fell right through the cracks and now I'm trying to get back Before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my bestest Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some So I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait I'm sure There's no need to complicate Our time is short This is our fate, I'm yours
- I'm Yours, Jason Mraz
Funny how sometimes things just gesticulate to you and leave you to speculate. Nothing seems right and then suddenly you still don't know if it's right, but it seems like some unseen force is pointing to the distance; and you can't see the hand, but you feel the presence of the hand right next to your face.Or maybe you just believe what you want to believe. You think what you choose to think. The signs are all there; both for and against. It's which you choose to believe.At the end of the day, as Levin says, faith is believing that the sky is infinite and there exists an infinity beyond that vault of blue, despite what your eyes tell you.Oh maybe I'm just deceiving myself. It is very easy to be a pollyanna.Yeah, I think I should just chill.
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