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Thursday, November 25, 2004
Why do we judge??
2 guys having coffee who seem close - queer
short skirt - skank
thick make-up - vainpot
being more liberal minded - cheap
staying out late - of questionable character
Why do we draw such assumptions bsed on nothing but pure conjecture and biasedness? Is it fair to the person we're making preconceptions about? Do we even know these people? Whgat places us on a pedestal looking down on them and making groundless unpleasant speculations?
I'm sick of this.
Just leave me be. This is my world too. And most of all, my life, and I live it however I deem fit. Fuck baseless presumptions and judgemental minds, this world does not owe anyone anything and people should learn to accept and love each other as they are. Why then did racial riots come about? And unjustified war? Racism War Elitism Apartheid Colonialism. Why do we not see our folly and error in judgement and actions??
It's no use judging a book by its cover, you'll never uncover its treasures, and even if the book's crap, least you'll have learnt something about crap from it.
No one is completely useless. They can always serve as a bad example.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
We are human resources, you and me. Each one but for the use of another.
Have you ever wondered how people think of you? How they remember you by? What sets you apart from the crowd?
Everyone's got something or someone to call their own, and I've got nothing. Except for my foolish pride, and that's not even genuine. An identity, an idea, a reference to someone or something important in their lives that acts as a benchmark for them, which sets them apart from everyone else and makes them special. Me? I've got nothing. It's not the peer pressure, Hell no. Neither is it conformity and societal norms. It's my own need to fill the void in me, and this desperation fuels me with banal and ridiculous thoughts that I actually entertain, and chide myself for afterwards.
I could give and give, but there is only so much this vessel can handle without falling apart.
I could take and take, but where would that get me? Life's about finding the balance, balancing the yin and yang, the good and bad. And I haven't found my redeeming half of the equation.
I don't want to be the vessel that merely contains, nor the fountain that overflows; I want to be the water that flows from fountain to vessel and be one with it to experience and take on various outlooks and ideas. Instead, I find myself the pool of excess at the foot of the vessel. Unsure, unspectacular, unwanted and unidentified. Where does that leave this pool of water?
I have run I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
Only to be with you
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone
You broke the bonds
You loosened the chains
You carried the cross
And my shame
And my shame
You know I believed it
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for
~ I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, U2
Eb major - you are warm and kind, always there for
your friends, who are in turn there for you.
You are content with your confortable life and
what you are currently achieving; if you keep
in this state you will go far.
what key signature are you?
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But why then do I feel this void?
This world is too big for me; I need someplace small. Warm. Familiar. Welcoming.
Somewhere overwhelmingly claustrophobic yet comfortable and secure.
Somewhere I know I am truly and deeply appreciated.
Somewhere where dreams do materialise into reality.
Somewhere where I feel needed.
Somewhere.
Monday, November 22, 2004
How do we ever know for certain when we are certain? As Rene DesCartes said, I think, therefore I am. But when the issue in question isn't about being, but about knowing, how then, can we draw the equation?
Nothing is for sure: relationships, dynamics, ideas, setups, systems, the works... We ought to have learnt something from the rise and fall of the dynasties of ancient civilisations, and the makes and breaks of relationships between people.
We can never know for sure who'll be there when we need somebody, and who might appear when we least expect it. "If we have no expectations, everything would be good". Now isn't that true? You never know what you can count on.
It's time to disentangle and start anew.
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