i miss tsd

i miss e security of knowing that in time to come, u'll definitely have a piece to perform.......... regardless of whether it's a good one or a shitty one, and knowing that u can choose whoever u wanna do it w........

i so desperately wanna asm for e play faulkner's in, sylvia.... but bummer it all!!!~ i'm tied down to lights for tworks....... ***growlgrowl*** damn my bloody morals for making me stick to it.......... i wish i had e audacity and guts ***or lack of morality*** to just dump e lights op job and jump over to i-theatre for e asm........... Pros: it's good exposure....... i meet more ppl......... it'll b more fun............ i can make more contacts........ i get to do other stuff........... prob hafta spend less hrs than at tworks........ it's in a less ulu place than fort canning........... all e crappy logistics and possible probs prob all occured and have been settlled........... haven't had any proper rehearsals w em........... Cons: i break a few hearts ***and mayb my own neck***........... i'll b blacklisted by one of e bigger companies in e microscopic sporean theatre world........ i'll feel mighty bad............. i'll go to hell............ they go thru hell and turmoil tryin to look for a new op at such short notice........... i'll go thru hell and turmoil at not keepin my word.......... i lose a few friends............ i'll get a bad name.......... and e list goes on.........!~ urgh!~ okie........ stick w e crappy job i got at haunted hill.......... it might turn out more exciting......... ***snortsnort***


big dreams

just realised TWO other ppl r applying for vca...... great........... as if e odds weren't bad enough........ and it just keeps on comin!!~! mayb i've gotta start thinkin of plan D............. or mayb i've just gotta start thinking........ harumphf~~~!

u think mayb in life they should implement a reward status thing? whereby if u accumulate enough points u get whatever u what? think that would make life better?
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i thought not too.............
oh well, it was worth that brief moment of bringing it into existence.........

but what if u want something badly enough to wanna bring it into existence? there's like a 67% of things not being able to work out yet u wanna have a shot at it.............. is it better to linger in painful obliviousness mingled with hope or to know e sad truth that annihilates all wishful thinking?
i can't decide.........