post-christmas
was just in town yesterday and as i looked around, i saw 'Post-Christmas' sales everywhere............ and people wereflocking to them like bees to honey.. or rather, flies to rubbish........... it's appalling to note that on the day after christmas, it's already deemed as 'post-christmas'......... whatever happened to the 12 days of christmas? it's kinda shocking isn't it? when you realise christmas isn't measured by the love and joy of the season, but rather, by the amount of things you bought at lower-than-usual prices............ i think what most people look forward to most bout christmas nowadays is the presents they're receiving, the parties and boozing, the sales and 'value buys'................ it's kinda degrading if you look at it in a certain light.............. whatever happened to Christ's present to us? of relieving us of our sins? the greatest gift ever we could ever receive, Jesus Christ's birth? who seems to mention that anymore? and 'Merry Christmas' is just an empty verse repeated to everyone you see just to 'wish' them a merry christmas....... there's no soul and intent behind those words, just blank emotionless void words.......... even the christmas lights don't serve to bring out the meaning of christmas....... they show pretty angels, shiny bright sparkling lights, powerpuff girls......... animals.......... what happened to Jesus in his manger? something seems to have morphed in an ugly way and taken over christmas............ even santa claus is becoming the insignia of christmas.............. he's taking over the glory of Jesus, and is placed in such high regard, whereas Jesus is forgotten............. like how Chinese New Year is all about receiving red packets and nothing about the visiting of relatives........... you visit relatives to receive those money packs, not to see if they're okie............... is this the new 'wave of the future'? emotionless valueless people walking around under false pretences? it is fast becoming like that isn't it?
Peace,........ and Fear
went to a christmas concert on christmas day itself, and frankly, the drama put up by it wasn't exactly spectacular, so to speak......... but i came to realise that we should not, and
cannot judge other people by our own standards, because it's unfair to them......... just cause i'm from tsd and have been blessed with the knowledge of theatre doesn't mean i can use my knowledge to judge other people........ what we have in common, is our dedication to what we set out to do, and we give it our all, our best shot, and that's what brings us on even ground...........
i was surprised at how many people remembered my name......... when all i could remember was their faces.......... it just goes to show how much effort i put in trying to remember people when i meet them doesn't it? this greater-than-thou attitude....... just cause i tihnk i'm cooler, more popular, more spunky, blahblah........ this shallowness is going to come at the expense of spiritual and intellectual development......... one which i'm not even sure i have any to start with.............. just cause others don't share my experience and way of thought and humour doesn't mean they're any less gifted than i am..........
the sermon given was a really relevent on, least to me......... i felt i could so totally relate to it.......... it was bout fear, death, and finding peace amidst such chaotic times as this............ the speaker said that once we're found Christ and have Him in our lives, we've found peace in Him and don't fear death or all the chaos happening round us, the bombings, the uncertainty of the times and even natural disasters as earthquakes............. i find that i don't fear such things.......... if death looks me in the face, i really would face him fearless, i don't fear dying, or war...... neither do i fear Christ's second coming........ in fact, i look forward to it............ but the thing is, i honestly don't think i'm that strong spiritually, to have the foundation and base for me to stand fearless............ so this fearlessness, is it just a part of my own character, plain ignorance, or hidden arrogance? cuz i really don't think it stems from my spirituality and faith in Christ............ least i don't think i know.................... it's a kinda semi-self-destructive mannerism...... if i destruct, i'm just gonna leave me to self-destruct....... and that's that....... no worries, no qualms, no quarrels......... i kinda take it for granted that i'm just gonna be saved and redeemed even though i don't think i deserve it, and haven't done a thing to deserve it, and don't seem to have the strength to do something to make me deserve it.............. as they say, the sea may look calm and peaceful, but we all know the undercurrents runnng below it are strong enough to pull a man down.............
albert once said i have a strong character, now i just think i'm weak............ least i'm weak spiritually............ and what good's a strong character when ultimately it's your spirituality that matters?
a strong character coupled by an indecisive mind............. it's kinda ironic isn't it? but isn't that one of the characteristics of mankind? this paradoxical nature and dichotomies in character?
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
they don't know what it's like.............
to dong and kerri.......... ***gringrin***
There's a light
A certain kind of light
That never shone on me
I want my life to lived with you
Lived with you
There's a way everybody say
To do each and every little thing
But what does it bring
If I ain't got you, ain't got ?
You don't know what it's like, baby
You don't know what it's like
To love somebody
To love somebody
The way I love you
There's brain
I see your face again
I know my frame of mind
You ain't got to be so blind
And I'm blind, so very blind
I'm a man, can't you see
What I am
I live and breathe for you
But what good does it do
If I ain't got you, ain't got ?
You don't know what it's like, baby
You don't know what it's like
To love somebody
To love somebody
The way I love you
that's pathetic!
You don't know what it's like, baby
You don't know what it's like
To love somebody
To love somebody
The way I love you
***secret grin*** oh yeah.............
they don't know......... we
do know what it's like................. ***winkwink***
tis the season to be jolly
hmmm........ i wodner if it's just me, but i seem to have a knack for screwing myself up.............. guess what happened again? i kinda washed my right contact lens down e sink....... yeap......
again.............. this e fourth one to go this year........... the clincher? it's new.......... like two weeks new.............. i hate my life man.......... eheheh
now i'm wearing the old one.......... the one which looks yellow and lembek and i changed to a new one because of it cuz i thought if i wore it anymore my eye would start to turn yellow and get jaundice too if it were possible........... eheheh......... well.......... we'll see if that prevails............. vanity's a killer eh?
well.......... had a wonderful christmas eve.......... spent it at gladys' place........... 9 straight hrs of movies back to back............ talk about stiupid inane spastic retarded movies............ if you guys thought
I was retarded...............
think again..................
shaking hands is always the best way to solve any problem....... unless, of course, the other person has a stump....... then it can be pretty awkward..........
WHAT NONSENSE?!~?!~?!?
eheheh............ loved that line................. damn funny.......... eheheh.............. in case you're looking for a really mindless movie.......... try 'high school high'........ ehehhe............ or 'the animal 2, rob schneider as the hot chick'......... daphnelim fell asleep halfway and when she woke up, she could still follow the story with no problem...... just goes to show how much of a plot it's got eh? ehehehe.............
anyhow.......... here's wishing everyone a
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!~!!!~!!~
have a joyous great day and God bless!!!~! cheerios!!~!~!
blubberblubberblubber
aww.......... ***frownfrowngroangroanwhinewhinelamentlament***
gonna face e music frm e parents bout e contact lenses.............
***takes deep breath to brace herself***
Monday, December 23, 2002
i received a promotional not-for-sale dvd, containing 5 mtvs of matchboxtwenty, and of course i was ecstatic.......... while watching the, i couldn't stop grinning........ normal people sit on the sofa.......... i was squatting on it, apparently i was too pumped up with adrenaline to sit properly............. i was grinning myself silly over the mtvs, the fantastic direction and themes exploring life, and i could distinctly trace of the differences in their songs from the first album and the second album............ and while i was watching 'bent', i dunno why, but i started tearing........ probably from the despair in the video.............
'can you help me, i'm bent...... i'm so scared that i'll never get put back together'........ i could so totally relate to the song....... and when it came to 'if you're gone', i was even closer to crying...........
'there's an awful lot of breathing room and i can heardly move'......... it's very reflective of our own life don't you think? how now we've got like 7 months to ourselves and all the time in the world to do whatever we wanna do, yet we don't really engage in anything constructive do we? least i know i don't....... so much time and yet we're wasting it on bumming, enjoying life, not attempting to make a difference.......... i almost feel ashamed of myself............ indulged in selfishness and hedonism........... when it came to the part where rob thomas, kyle cook and adam gaynor were all in a line, each with a microphone stand and crooning into their mics, with the camera at an angle such that it seemed that the three of them were in descending order, i dunno why, but that simple scene struck a chord in me........... i marvelled at how beautiful the simple scene was, even though it was nothing as compared to the rest of the video............. there was simple strikingly vulnerable and bare in that simple shot, and i recognized the beauty in it's orderliness, and the quiet unspoken harmony in them...........
'push' started and ended with rob thomas holding onto a puppet, complete with strings and limp limbs.......... simplistic yet its message was clear......... and i realise, i miss the good old days......... i miss being young and bogged down with work and not having to worry bout what i wanna do the next month, year, even 5 years, cuz i know that everything's been planned out perfectly for me.......... no worries, no tough decisions to make, no failures, total guaranteed completely lit path............. and i was complaining bout it................ funny how we only see the light when we're out of it............. but i'm not regretting or wishing myself back........... i'm looking back in fond remembrance and recognition, in learning and enlightenment............... life is about learning, and i wanna learn what i can, and think on what i've learnt.......... for there is no failure of lesson is there? only when we fail to learn do we really fail..............
Quote of the Day
No one is completely worthless, they can always serve as a bad example......
that's pretty true isn't it, when you think bout it............ right now, i just wanna sit back and give myself a mental holiday, not in a sense where i zone out and go blank, but where i open my mind to all possible aspects of life and explore what we take for granted.......... there's so much to explore, and we dunno where to start........ it's often not a problem of
what we wanna say, but
how......... often there's so much to say we dunno where to start, but once we get the ball rolling, it's easy as pie isn't it? and the more we try to refrain our thoughts and pin it down to one thing, the more we feel we're getting stuck............ ironic ah? it's funny how the mind works.......
Reality vs Illusion
I think, therefore i am. - Descartes
