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Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Daphne is not one to self-destruct. It's just not in her nature. She may spiral downwards for a period of time in self-loathing and guilt. And possibly hoping something would come along and unmake her. But she's a tough bird. She forges on amidst the scars and wreckage. In spite of the fact that she doesn't want to. But she does it anyway. She trudges on in self-pity, wretchedness and misery, and the thought of unmaking the entire mess by some vile, underhanded means, be it by her own hand, or someone else, will permeate her thoughts endlessly, like an earworm that won't go away. But by her very nature, she will not capitulate. And lives each day as it comes, miserable, but never really showing it. Hoping for that ray of light to finally shine on her, or that crack of the lighting which will end it all.'She's a tough one.'
Sunday, July 20, 2008
I guess this time I really have to say I don't know anything anymore. It's true, you can try as hard as you can to be master and commander of your own fate, but really, there's only so much you can do. No man is an island. So similarly, you can't make your own decisions without any outside influence.I really should get down to learning my lines hey? I need a place of refuge. A place I can be totally relaxed in and be able to focus and concentrate and not worry about being distracted by people or thoughts. I can't find it. My entire house is a distraction. Singapore is a distraction. I can't even go to the fucking beach because it's teeming with families and tourists and schoolkids.I guess my shower will have to do. On that note, I'm going to shower now. Sigh. My 10mins of solace.
Oh that this too too solid flesh would melt.
On top of that, I have been bad. I guess one would call this retribution. I pray to God karma doesn't come round and bite me in the ass. Or maybe it's already come round and this is it. I'm just not consciously aware of it.
I've been a bad bad girl. I've been careless with a delicate man. And it's a sad sad world.
All I need is a good defence cuz I'm feeling like a criminal.
And it's back to deciding what to do with what's left of today. And the days to come.
Oh what are we going to do with the rest of our lives?
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