tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38052642012-01-14T22:07:58.121+11:00We weren't born with a name, we were given a name. A hedgehog doesn't have a name. It's just a nameless thing with a handful of flesh and skin and a beating heart. A hedgehog doesn't even know it doesn't have a name.dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comBlogger5021100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-59180311724151487912012-01-14T21:58:00.003+11:002012-01-14T22:07:58.136+11:00

Live and learn you stupid girl.It's like the dog that's been kicked about by its owner but still returns to its owner because it still thinks the owner's going to care for him. Quite the exact opposite of biting the hand that feeds you.You've gotten what you want and have assumed the role of the victim. Whilst I still stupidly bang on and on, wanting to be the magnanimous person, play the nice

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-56125502249153762172011-12-22T02:37:00.002+11:002011-12-22T02:51:19.278+11:00

I am such a hypocrite.'A rose could never lie about the love it brings and I can never promise to be any of those things' - Frail, Jars of Clay

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-32569079121716367112011-11-30T08:11:00.002+11:002011-11-30T08:21:17.724+11:00

It's been a year since my last post. In that year I've laughed a lot, I've cried a lot (especially in the last few weeks) and I've learnt a lot. I've also wanted to kill a lot of people. I feel I'm slowly starting to come to the realisation that if I want to get anywhere in this industry I'll need to do a few things:A. Get braces to sort out my teethB. Lose 10kgC. Get fake boobsD. Sleep with

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-23630677625505692152010-11-26T00:12:00.002+11:002010-11-26T00:24:05.748+11:00

I might possibly have been £30 grand richer if I had been smart about things. Oh well. You lose some, and hope you win some later on.I hate it when people patronize you. Like seriously, just because you are 20 years ahead of me doesn't mean it gives you the right to talk down to me. Even so, we've been fucking living under the same roof for the past 3months, you witnessed when I was sat in front

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-56895408732712792852010-11-17T02:02:00.003+11:002010-11-17T02:18:37.931+11:00

It's not about me, at all.Acting is such a tough depressing job. At the end of the day, one must NEVER get their hopes up. Because when you do, you risk disappointment. You can only do your best, and then forget about it. If you happen to get the job, that's an added bonus. Someone at an audition told me 'That is exactly what we're looking for!'. So I waited for the call. But instead, got an

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-24965589049823806712010-07-03T01:09:00.003+10:002010-07-03T01:16:25.639+10:00

Why am I nice? Why do I bother to volunteer and offer advice to other people without them badgering me for it? I forget that not everyone doesn't have a hidden agenda. I forget that not everyone likes to be nice and I get disappointed when people choose to not be nice to me.Some people are just blessed with meeting nice people all the time. They seem to attract good people to them and I wish I

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-7891472837972356092010-04-17T19:10:00.003+10:002010-04-17T19:22:59.210+10:00

Why do I act? Why do I create theatre?I forget that life isn't smooth sailing, that I can't have everything all the time. But then I fall into a false sense of complacency and I get a rude jolt when I'm reminded that I can't have my way all the time. Especially when you're living within a society of people. If I was a hermit I could have everything I wanted, all the time, no one to stop or refuse

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-45197451511171041192010-02-23T09:09:00.002+11:002010-02-23T09:19:24.708+11:00

Do I really really have to spell things out all the time? Sometimes you think that spending heaps of time with someone makes you in tune with them and them in tune to your thoughts. Guess again.Sometimes I wish I wasn't one to practise subtlely and expect people close to me to clue on to my hints. I wish sometimes that I cut to the chase and spell out what I want. Maybe that would make my life

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-10098975508535066802009-11-09T05:20:00.004+11:002009-11-09T05:53:58.307+11:00

Some days it'll be really nice to just amble into a corner and sit quietly and not have to listen or try or make idle 'social' chit-chat. It's a shame that luxury doesn't exist.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-41235411530710371462009-10-11T02:12:00.002+11:002009-10-11T02:18:12.697+11:00

I think I'm ready to give up the struggle and go away quietly into the misty distance. We had our good times, and they were good. I guess there comes a time when the current changes and the body of water diverts into two currents. Both for the good. One warm, one cool. The can never really be reconciled can they? It was very very good while it lasted. The best of my wishes goes with you.And so

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-13279791315629359702009-10-07T08:47:00.003+11:002009-10-07T08:56:28.989+11:00

What happens when the cracks start to show? Do you wonder if it's the beginning of the end? Do you start to fret about when the last straw on the camel's back is going be? Or do you simply brush it off as an unhappy bumpy spat of events?Everything seems to not be right these past 2 weeks. Am I expecting too much? Is my head in the wrong place? The slightest thing seems to piss me off. It seems

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-24603798630028106132009-09-18T21:07:00.002+10:002009-09-18T21:09:03.151+10:00

Can anyone help me retrieve my archive? Blogger says the archival of my older posts doesn't exist. (Click on the 'Archives' link on the right and you'll get what I'm talking about) That upsets me. Can anyone help? Does anyone even know how to solve this highly cyber technical problem?:(Sad.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-22784358718603732392009-09-18T06:58:00.002+10:002009-09-18T07:02:27.721+10:00

{ Quotable Quote of the Day }(In response to an improv based around the theme 'Letters You Wouldn't Read In An Aunt Agony Column')Dear Aunt Aggie, I would like to trace my father. Can you recommend a good marker pen?Brilliant.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-41777429381789257322009-07-17T21:14:00.002+10:002009-07-17T21:50:09.250+10:00

Sometimes it's not that you don't want to try. You tried, and you've exhausted all your resolve and energy.Remember how it was like in primary school when you had your best friends and suddenly they were all poached by the 'cool group' but you weren't and so you started hanging out on your own, not wanting to seem to desperate by either A: tagging on to your old friends because they've moved on

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-46322322039526354692009-06-25T15:38:00.003+10:002009-06-25T15:49:56.363+10:00

Everyone is unique and special in their own way. We are all unique individuals with a whole universe of back story to each and every one of us, which we oft too easily forget because of the hustle and bustle surrounding us. Infiltrating and permeating into everything we do, such that that imminent sense of urgency and superficiality becomes the quotidian, and we forget what it once meant to be

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-83287992673009458982009-06-21T23:07:00.003+10:002009-06-21T23:19:51.472+10:00

Everyone has issues. Everyone has issues and problems they encounter. Everyone has obstacles they overcome and everyone has stumbling blocks they trip over.I've got problems. I've got ADD. I'm obsessive compulsive. I'm a control freak. I have a shitty memory. I fail to take many things too seriously. I laugh at everything. I believe in an ideal world that ought to exist but doesn't. I believe in

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-71398130050757382172009-06-19T23:46:00.000+10:002009-06-19T23:48:38.118+10:00

I am often accused of interfering in the private lives of citizens. Yes, if I did not, had I not done that, we wouldn’t be here today. And I say without the slightest remorse, that we wouldn’t be here, we would not have made economic progress, if we had not intervened on very personal matters - who your neighbour is, how you live, the noise you make, how you spit, or what language you use. We

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-59143628738301131962009-05-20T22:39:00.002+10:002009-05-20T22:42:36.733+10:00

And so it is,Just like you said it would be,Life goes easy on me,Most of the timeAnd so it is, He has the shorter storyNo love, no gloryNo hero in her sky.........And so it is,Just like you said it should beWe'll both forget the breezeMost of the time

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-65239100383593213572009-05-05T00:54:00.005+10:002009-05-05T01:10:26.117+10:00

[Random Thought of the Day]I guess some things last forever and some things just have a natural 'best before' date that you never saw coming.But that's life, hey? We move on and along. Just as natural selection takes place and the weaker species dies out, so do the intangible things we value start to dim and turn into shades of what they used to be.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-63688288631216864982009-04-17T20:59:00.002+10:002009-04-17T21:18:05.680+10:00

I guess there'll always be moments of change and flux, and everything is constantly in motion. I feel like my life has reached a hiatus, and everything hangs on these 6weeks. How will I fare? How will I hold up? How will we hold up? Do I have the discipline? Do I possess the talent? Can I get my head around this paradigm shift? Will we mesh or clash? Everything and everyone I held dear to me has

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-20833859947263743862009-03-31T12:00:00.002+11:002009-03-31T12:21:30.334+11:00

I don't think I've experienced this sort of zen and calmness is a long long time. There is so much to do and potentially freak out about, but I am neither freaking out, nor getting my head bogged down. Positivity is sooo underrated. 'Nothing will come of nothing.' And similarly, positivity will breed positivity. It's karma of a different level. I will be happy and good to others because I choose

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-48631603997407531332009-03-18T23:13:00.003+11:002009-03-19T00:18:58.978+11:00

Life Dreams and ArtMy last post was on my birthday. These days I don't have much to write about. I am happier, more content, closer to bliss. I have my share of stress and pressure and uncertainties, but I choose not to wallow in them and wear myself thin over things I have no control over. Nor do I allow myself to be pushed around by the faceless mask of authority. I have nothing to lose but

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-746051208885318912009-02-09T15:09:00.002+11:002009-02-09T15:14:59.795+11:00

I guess if you really want this; you've ached from day one for this to come by. And now it has. But the situation's kind of tricky. Lots of manoeuvering to be done. If you really want this, you'll bloody hell fight and bleed for it to happen. It's funny; you badly want something but it doesn't come your way.And one fine day things switch about and what you want presents itself to you, yet there's

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-7717914714506214122009-01-29T03:28:00.003+11:002009-01-29T03:32:02.189+11:00

Let it all go up in smoke and flames. Isn't that nice? Forget the past, the good times, the foundation, all that time spent nurturing and what-not.'You're saying it just because you're hurt. You don't mean it' - GladysHow wonderful that someone has some insight into me. But I'm not hurt. I'm beyond hurt. I've no time to let myself be hurt. I'm just apathetic, how this society and the people

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-67185631120528334862009-01-12T01:17:00.002+11:002009-01-12T01:18:51.646+11:00

I can't believe this is almost happening. Am I getting ahead of myself. Breathe Daph. Don't build it up or you will risk greater disappointment. A step at a time. Look after yourself.Oh my gosh, I can't believe this is almost happening.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-34215854274026647002009-01-11T19:03:00.002+11:002009-01-11T19:22:56.487+11:00

Amidst the capitalism and commercialism, what does Chinese New Year mean to us? Red Packets, buying and wearing new clothes, seeing close and distant family members (be it willingly or grudgingly), bah kwa, pineapple tarts, F&N Orange, having a few days off work, catching up with friends and chillaxing after the stressful visitings.But looking back to thousands of years ago, Chinese New Year is

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-940978487567565622009-01-08T18:58:00.000+11:002009-01-08T18:59:18.397+11:00

This is stupid. The heart is but an abstract notion. What the fuck are we on?

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-71371704635988358292009-01-08T03:00:00.002+11:002009-01-08T03:29:08.756+11:00

Cold TurkeyYou are my drug;The more I have you, the more I want you.Until I find myself spiraling in an unbreakable downward descent into a passionate obsessional frenzy of violet thoughts.It's moments after I've had you when I feel on top of the world, capable of anything, capable of even forgetting you.Then the sweetness from the interaction peels away, and I am left naked, standing out at the

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-73152916983459858612008-12-09T19:05:00.002+11:002008-12-09T19:22:21.060+11:00

I had a dream. I dreamt that we were together again, you and me. But this time, I knew we were not meant to be, and so did you. But we were together, in a distant dimension, picking up where we left off. And failing terribly. We both knew we had to call it off, yet, neither of us did. It was as though I was hoping against every hope that a miracle would pull us through this dark patch. And it was

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-25204646624096467042008-11-28T00:20:00.002+11:002008-11-28T00:52:21.217+11:00

I think, I need more of that thing called 'confidence'. To be able to think 'fuck the world, I know what I am and I am not affected by what the world presents to me'. Of course, that is a fallacy. If only I could practise what I preach. Why do I let stupid silly small useless things affect me so? What happened to that confidence I built up? Where's it all gone? Why am I so weak? How can I survive

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-74421361629231900122008-11-13T15:20:00.002+11:002008-11-13T15:35:14.571+11:00

I wrote you a letter;It contained everything I wanted to sayWell, not really everythingBut mostly what I had to get out of the wayIt wasn't long and winding,Neither was it short and succinct.In fact it was rather painful and it hurt that I had to be so curtYou made me this way,I'm sorry,But 'Sorry' doesn't change a thingSo I'm handing this letter to you right nowAnd I'm going to be walking awayIf

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-40116512672163114522008-09-30T18:18:00.002+10:002008-09-30T18:59:10.976+10:00

I think I see a little bit clearer now. Sometimes when the time comes, we just have to let go. Up and go. Move on. Like the snail that grows out of its little shell. It has to move on and find a larger home, one more suited to itself. Or it will die from being strangled and suffocated by it's unwillingness to let go, or even fear of finding something new.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-10317816040357477162008-09-20T18:42:00.002+10:002008-09-20T18:52:25.523+10:00

What the fuck is wrong with people? Seriously, I don't get anyone anymore. Is it just me? Am I the one who's losing touch with the harsh reality of things? Or am I just expecting too much of the people around me? Seems like the only people you can really count on these days is your family. I just can't fucking keep up with this shit anymore. I just want to write everyone off, just keep working,

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-57691021811915380642008-09-11T23:38:00.002+10:002008-09-12T00:08:14.162+10:00

7 September 1753hrsThese pangs of introspection and wishing I was elsewhere but here permeate my idle thoughts. yet I am getting increasingly settled in to this existence here. I adapt. If there's one thing I naturally do well, it's adapting to change. I am an actor. I have to. It's my job.Yet despite becomingly increasingly adapted to this place, I still have idle thoughts of being elsewhere;

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-4952145455955350392008-08-28T18:12:00.002+10:002008-08-28T18:22:32.531+10:00

24 August 1310hrsTwo butterflies frolicked amongst the traffic, dancing a little courtship dance amidst the consumerism and metal automobiles. As they twined and intertwined higher and more frantically, one suddenly took off. The other fluttered, lost and frantic, backtracking into the midst of vehicles, almost as if courting doom in its desperate attempt at seeking its love. Then it seemed to

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-30863582436165062412008-08-06T16:58:00.002+10:002008-08-06T17:15:02.694+10:00

I think I am beginning to assimilate an inkling of this... entity in me.I am afraid of letting it go. Because......it was the best I could find.And I don't want to let go of it. For fear of never returning back to it.Or maybe even being afraid that if I let it go, it will melt away into the vicissitudes of the shores of my vast memories. And cease to hold any special significance. And I will be

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-62741942237318155452008-08-05T17:13:00.003+10:002008-08-05T18:44:01.679+10:00

I can't remember the last time that we kissed goodbye All our "I love you"s were just not enough to survive Something your eyes never told me But it's only now too plain to see Brilliant disguise when you hold me And I'm free I've been thinking and here's what I've come to conclude Sometimes the distance is more than two people can use But how could I have

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-74317490328198626612008-08-04T02:11:00.002+10:002008-08-04T02:28:12.758+10:00

I just want to throw in the towel and exclaim 'Take me. Just do whatever the hell you want. I'm too tired to keep this up anymore.' This facade.This pretence. This game. You say it's not a game, but it is.I can't go on wanting to maintain my virtuous thoughts when inside I feel like a fucking cesspool of falsity and excessiveness of nothingness.Let me just be base. I grow. I prosper;Now, gods,

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-60627178163657627802008-08-02T17:17:00.002+10:002008-08-02T17:19:50.277+10:00

I feel it in my bones. I think it's over.Leave no time to mope and mourn. Merely roll over, and start anew.Ouch. So simple.Yet so hard.I had it coming.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-1924229733752605572008-07-23T16:57:00.002+10:002008-07-23T17:06:28.150+10:00

Daphne is not one to self-destruct. It's just not in her nature. She may spiral downwards for a period of time in self-loathing and guilt. And possibly hoping something would come along and unmake her. But she's a tough bird. She forges on amidst the scars and wreckage. In spite of the fact that she doesn't want to. But she does it anyway. She trudges on in self-pity, wretchedness and misery, and

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-41156412149873670372008-07-20T16:21:00.003+10:002008-07-20T16:30:24.418+10:00

I guess this time I really have to say I don't know anything anymore. It's true, you can try as hard as you can to be master and commander of your own fate, but really, there's only so much you can do. No man is an island. So similarly, you can't make your own decisions without any outside influence.I really should get down to learning my lines hey? I need a place of refuge. A place I can be

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-25433634807018375512008-07-11T00:48:00.002+10:002008-07-11T01:07:10.690+10:00

10 June 1416hrsHow can you possibly cultivate graciousness and the arts in a society where the leaders blatently talk about encouraging the arts, but all they do is scheme up wretched well-thought out and well-defended machinations to fleece the underlings of its very people. How can your artistes be able-minded and have a peace of mind and focus on creating art for the country and its people

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-17605941825631066132008-07-10T03:47:00.002+10:002008-07-10T04:43:15.218+10:00

June 7 0810hrsIt is the hope that kills me. The existence of this hope extinguishes my determination to forge on as a stronghold.June 9 1736hrsIs he the sky? My ever unattainable sky?We were both the sea. Are we still the same blue?Once I soared in the sky with the wind beneath my wings, lifting me up, making me soar. Then the wind died. And I plummeted back into the sea. Washed ashore.So what is

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-90665796757776918462008-07-07T18:38:00.003+10:002008-07-08T02:53:27.693+10:00

It's all really so simple and so true.'Then she cries and I love her even more.I love her so much I think my heart will break.'- Somewhere Between The Sky And The SeaAnd my poor heart falls into a thousand slivers.It is the hope that kills me. The existence of this hope extinguishes my determination to forge on as a stronghold independent of anything.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-51128355380203277732008-07-04T01:37:00.002+10:002008-07-04T01:50:31.891+10:00

Why am I so meek? Why do I put myself in situations where I feel awkward, and know not what to do? Why do I never grab the bull by the balls except when it doesn't matter? Let me be a girl for a moment, and since noone will listen to me whinge, let me indulge in a bit of online catharsis. I feel so totally stagnant. I need to get out of this abyss. I don't know where I'm going to get the funds

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-52143228454382657642008-06-29T18:03:00.002+10:002008-06-29T19:02:56.951+10:00

boys you can break you find out how much they can take boys will be strong and boys soldier on- daughters, john mayer(stolen from Dong)Well you done done me and you bet I felt it I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted I fell right through the cracks and now I'm trying to get back Before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my bestest Nothing's going to stop me but divine

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-91909193099407898062008-06-26T02:15:00.002+10:002008-06-26T02:50:18.517+10:00

The deed is done. There is no turning back now. I have paid a huge ass sum of money (well, my Dad has) and I cannot retrace my steps now.'I cannot be soft. I have my destiny to live out.'It will have to take more than a brand new snazzy sports car to buy my destiny. My feet are burning and know not where to run. But still, I must take off and do what I feel needs to be done. I may be wrong. But

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-31927537533152274172008-06-19T13:53:00.002+10:002008-06-19T14:03:36.634+10:00

This dire need for some sort of reciprocation; Go on, cast the ball back my way. This dire thirst for... whatever it is, will be the death of me.To be complete within oneself. Seems easier said than done eh?And the constellations spiral out of orbit, each deflecting into its own eternal hell within an unforgiving vacuum. Tender yet impartially cruel.I no longer know what I want anymore. Frivolous

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-21301922263087261072008-06-07T18:52:00.002+10:002008-06-07T19:18:56.624+10:00

Late night taxi ride epiphany: I will come back to Singapore when I'm sick of the world. But for now, the world beckons.I just need to find the money. And the courage to bash ahead.And ironically, it takes my heartless unsentimental callous brother to draw attention to this song.There's a part in me you'll never know The only thing I'll never show It's plain to see it's trying to speak cherished

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-77398638033833483822008-06-03T17:59:00.002+10:002008-06-03T18:03:24.308+10:00

I think I won't trust anyone or anything anymore from now on. That's the way to go, I reckon. It's safe, it's foolproof. I'm just going to lie back, chill out, and read Anna Karenina. It's not as easy industry, this one. What have I gotten myself into? To toil like that for years to come? I don't know if I can handle this. We'll see, we'll see.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-9529298653130242752008-05-23T01:41:00.004+10:002008-05-23T02:31:36.551+10:00

I am just about ready to behead the next inefficient person who steps into my way.It's official: I hate production managing.Correction: I hate production managing with inefficient people. Singaporeans are too narrow-minded and just plain stupid sometimes. Which equals to inefficiency. When you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. When you pay a Singaporean peanuts, you get fucked over. Yah. Unless some

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-75778664792874379882008-05-10T00:53:00.002+10:002008-05-10T00:55:20.332+10:00

I can't do this anymore.Rather,I don't want to do this anymore.What's the difference anyway? I just can't. I'm losing myself. I can literally feel myself draining away.Take me back.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-25945100552809188482008-05-08T04:20:00.002+10:002008-05-08T04:26:54.494+10:00

Okie, So, tkng the advicw of ShmINE, from like ges afo,) I a,m bloggoing while piaaased. Fun. Well, I think i know what the hell I'm saying, but CLEARLY my pmputer doesn't agree. ahahahahI haven't had anlot. only two alves of a vodka sprite and 2 1/2 mojitoes. nie........................ I like. and a qlk to the 2ns hearest ATM inbetween, cuz the nerest atn wasn't working. Th fuck. well. I

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-16822500924057422082008-05-06T04:05:00.002+10:002008-05-06T04:07:24.693+10:00

I think, I need a shag. A shag will set everything straight and proper. Yes. A good shag always makes everything right. Nothing like a good shag. *nods affirmatively in all seriousness*

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-67884193411178533232008-05-05T04:03:00.002+10:002008-05-05T04:18:57.307+10:00

Maybe if I could just get away from it all.I feel like a stranger to the familiar things.I feel disaffected. There's too much cynicism happening. A healthy dose of cynicism keeps one's head in check. But seriously, this, this is just ridiculous.I don't know anything anymore.I'm not sure of anything anymore.Why do we have to prove ourselves to the world? What exactly are we living for? I feel this

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-58810621777137742612008-04-28T18:17:00.002+10:002008-04-28T18:34:55.248+10:00

Daphne Quah Goes On HolidayThe ego is going on holiday. Daphne Quah's self-esteem has hit a new low. 4 rejections in 2 months. She simply cannot go on doing this. Hitting brick wall after brick wall. She should have seen it coming. She saw the first one coming. She was in denial. Then she accepted it and moved on. But somehow, the destruction of the first one created this monster within her. This

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-20864597990967070782008-04-21T17:49:00.002+10:002008-04-21T19:03:56.994+10:00

So my blog is officially emo. According to Maine. ehehehI've always prided myself on my razor sharp gut instinct. But it's been failing me of late. Why?I eat too much I drink too much I want too much Too much- Too Much, Dave Matthews BandAnd I think too much.Ironic how you build up a wall to protect yourself, yet you've left your back gate totally open and you're being hit unawares and have no

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-1020432607320042422008-04-02T22:48:00.002+11:002008-04-02T23:47:28.576+11:00

Seemingly like a scene out of a movie about the end of the world. That was today. It was unreal. I loved it. They wind is still going. Watching it from the comfort within a school hall, through the glass doors, seeing the branches bend and almost feeling them creek from yards away; seeing the dust and sand dance their waltz in the schoolyard; watching the magpies stranded and confused; seeing the

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-84701549095864939992008-03-31T23:39:00.002+11:002008-03-31T23:51:18.110+11:00

The human being is such an amazing creature.And...That is all I have to say.I think that, in itself, will suffice.I amaze myself.I never cease to surprise myself with the fodder that's churned out from within the deep dark recesses of the electrical labyrinth of synapses that sits above my neck, safe in its own little cocoon. The heart, is purely metaphysical. Because the heart really sits within

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-7200606819367020762008-03-29T17:49:00.002+11:002008-03-29T18:06:33.770+11:00

I think... I think I could be starting to rejoice once again. Let Love in.As she glanced back for another look at the perils she'd traversed, she glimpsed the faint footprints being washed away by the ebbing sea; Now, faint. Swirling pools of water and sand. Now, a smooth pristine glimmering surface, unfazed. Now, pure and untouched, as if no one had ever been there. All traces removed. No one

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-91872246028826293482008-03-28T02:19:00.001+11:002008-03-28T02:22:35.659+11:00

I don't care if monday's bluetuesday's grey and wednesday toothursday I don't care about youit's friday I'm in lovemonday you can hold your headtuesday wednesday stay in bedor thursday watch the walls insteadit's friday I'm in loveWhat a cute song. I don't get it. I probably never will. But either way, I like it. For what it says. For what it stands for. For what it holds.Friday.Here I come.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-68764736726383497702008-03-24T23:57:00.002+11:002008-03-25T00:01:08.736+11:00

I think... I've been missing the point.I always aim so high, so high, without seeing that what I have on hand is inadequate for the mission. I can never see the forest for the trees.Shah's right, I am an over-achiever. Thing is, I need to know when to stop and realise that I haven't got the resources. it's good to be ambitious, but within means. Baby steps Daph, baby steps.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-4100395935343636162008-03-21T12:58:00.002+11:002008-03-21T13:01:19.887+11:00

I guess... the past couple of days have told me... that all I need to do is have faith.We'll cross the bridge when we come to it. And when we do, if we find we're missing vital survival tools, well, we'll deal with it then. But right now, Right Now,Faith is what we need. To believe, and trust, in spite of the Want. Faith.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-18179057374984430692008-03-19T17:27:00.002+11:002008-03-19T17:55:55.991+11:00

I don't know anything anymore.As I stand by the sink, the realisation of the overwhelming amount of stuff I have to throwaway/chuck by the roadside to be removed to goodness-knows-where and incinerated/dumped into a landfill; pack into a labelled box to be carted into a container and shipped across thousand of miles into a tiny room on the first floor of 57B Lorong Marzuki: my life for the past 4

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-83045484103927468172008-03-15T17:56:00.002+11:002008-03-15T18:01:46.285+11:00

And....... another one bites the dust.And every time I reach out I get bitten in the ass. Maybe I should really give up. Just sit on my fat ass and sprout mysterious fungi while waiting to be chased. Why? Why throw something my way and tease me, and when I feel the urge to get off my ass and do something to follow through with the action, you fucking throw me a red herring. Why? Tis sport, is it?

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-4502675526589750392008-03-15T17:32:00.004+11:002008-03-15T17:49:35.565+11:00

Realisation of the Day:People don't understand me.It's amazing how quickly people pigeon-hole you. You make your first impression, and bam, suddenly you've got this label on you. Why is it so hard to accept that people have different facets to them?I've had enough of people telling me what I should do and how I should do it. Give me my fucking space. No, I don't care if my laugh is coarse and

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-29698906821448803222008-03-14T01:17:00.002+11:002008-03-14T01:23:08.436+11:00

Everytime you get hurt, you put up a little barrier to prevent yourself from getting hurt the same way again. One day, you realise you've walled yourself in in your little enclave. Bereft of a real touch.Where's the compromise? The middle ground? How do we solve this contradiction of interests? Can we?

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-13605540225011826152008-03-12T11:15:00.003+11:002008-03-12T12:07:39.169+11:00

What do I want? What do I really want? Suddenly I'm experiencing all these different thoughts. Melbourne does it to you. You start questioning what you want and what you want to do. So many people doing so many things you thought were impossible for you to do, and yet seeing them do it makes you wonder if you're shortchanging yourself. Where do I really really want to be? Suddenly I'm having

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-19462140859424969132008-03-03T03:40:00.002+11:002008-03-03T03:47:49.947+11:00

I should be angry. I should be upset. Very upset.Somehow I'm not. I'm just... resignatedly numb. It's odd.No huge flurry of activity within me. Just a silent quiet drone.Could it be that this is me really coping and letting go? I don't know. This is all new to me.But, I'm vaguely slightly content. That I can let it go and not be the angry, cynical, jaded, bitter woman I used to turn into. I

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-84363186623148258202008-02-26T02:52:00.002+11:002008-02-26T02:58:03.525+11:00

Come sail your ships around me And burn your bridges down We make a little history, baby Every time you come around

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-78689685805117925902008-02-21T07:29:00.002+11:002008-02-21T07:35:03.295+11:00

I don't believe this. This is stupid. Downright stupid. Why am I conducting such stakeouts online just to catch him not in action? What the fuck's wrong with me? It's becoming an obsession, a fucking sick perverse obsession. I need to get on with my life. How can human beings fuck each other up so badly? What the fuck!Seriously Daph, learn to say 'I don't care', and learn to fucking mean it.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-77479566769662751142008-02-14T13:59:00.002+11:002008-02-14T14:18:26.955+11:00

A random trishaw ride out of nowhere. Sets one appreciating the simplicity of life amidst the hustle bustle of everything. Work; relationships; Chingay; Grand Prix; incompetent government planning. To feel the wind rustling through your hair as you glide through space, not even designated road lanes and cars can come in your way. You feel like a little queen in her little private carriage. Just

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-12286138208138347712008-02-08T20:42:00.000+11:002008-02-08T21:20:24.268+11:00

*takes a deep breath**holds it all in**lets it all out*haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-62660388694907733582008-01-29T13:58:00.000+11:002008-01-29T14:07:42.212+11:00

It's my own fault isn't it really? I open myself up for being disappointed. If you don't display weakness, how will the enemy know when & where to strike?I keep doing this to myself. I should just be harsh and quietly go away. It may send off the wrong message, but at least I'll keep from getting hurt again, and again.We're just too soft, women.And men are just thick-headed insensitive wankers.A

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-82622717045700737932008-01-18T03:27:00.000+11:002008-01-18T03:37:19.344+11:00

There is no point in being scared DQ, just fucking do it. You don't want to be happy & content in your comfort zone. You want to push the extremes & make a difference. This false sense of security will be your downfall. It's so easy to give up and throw in the towel, but you know if you hang in there, it will come to fruition. You made a choice, and you will stick it through to the very end. This

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-52870101288351229572008-01-16T02:41:00.000+11:002008-01-16T02:44:00.732+11:00

DQ, we shouldn't be cynical anymore. Let it flow off our backs like water because if the things which taint us don't go, new things cannot come by.Each day and moment we mope is a wasted one because, like today; there'll never be a January 15 2008 passing us by anymore. I cannot say for sure that our hearts will heal completely but there is just so much out there that we're shutting ourselves

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-6263274051251695762008-01-13T14:58:00.000+11:002008-01-13T15:31:19.598+11:00

I need to decide what I want to do with next year. I need to decide where I want to be in the world.Sitting on a Sunday morning, reading Saturday's Straits Times made me think of how Singapore is so contrived. I'd rather be in Melbourne. I need my own independence. I cannot go back to living with mum & dad and being the little girl who listens to them and does what they want and being nice to

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-85774584949488897822008-01-06T14:52:00.000+11:002008-01-06T15:11:33.975+11:00

Whatever will be; will be.Am I ignoring the elephant in the room? Sticking my head in the sand like the cowardly ostrich? Maybe that is how I find strength: in distancing myself and mocking the face of adversity.Could this be it? The inexorable movement towards the end. Could it be the beginning of the end? Or is this merely the beginning of a new phase? Whatever it is, it hurts to think about it

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-82647465491757977372008-01-03T13:12:00.000+11:002008-01-03T13:54:57.536+11:00

I could have possibly had the best New Year's Eve ever. Just driving down to the coast, stopping at some random beach town with a population of 2000. But there were fireworks, and that was good. the walk around the town took no more than half an hour, and towards the beach it was, in our bathers and esky full of beer in hand. Day1.Just sitting on the sand, amidst the families and crazy kid.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-59348809108718410142007-11-28T16:54:00.000+11:002007-11-28T16:57:24.733+11:00

I need to start doing things for myself. And stop doing things for someone else. Or because of someone else. I figure out what I want, what I want to do, and what I need to do and stop doing things because someone told me I should do it, or because someone else is doing it. Start thinking and acting for yourself Daph. No one is responsible for your life but you. No one is living for you, so get

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-13575355237269419722007-11-23T12:11:00.000+11:002007-11-23T12:39:52.860+11:00

Everyone is telling me to do it, and I know I want to, and I should. But this fear. This huge morbid paralyzing paranoid rationalizing insecure fear is just nagging way at me, sitting on my shoulder and weighing me down.I've got a lot of hard work ahead of me, and it's only gonna get tougher and I have to get my act together. But I'm so comfortable drifting along where it's secure. But only for

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-91219132790257006252007-11-18T15:38:00.000+11:002007-11-18T15:40:50.601+11:00

I need to find an aim for my life.What am I doing? I need to do something. I am not content sitting around, yet the inner judge sitting on my shoulder keeps me from actively reaching out and doing something for fear of failing. Ack.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-7713691519087782062007-11-14T13:05:00.000+11:002007-11-14T13:20:45.403+11:00

What the fuck is wrong with me?Why do I do this to myself?I just spend the entire fucking morning ranting about my fucking useless boyfriend when I should be learning lines. 3 fucking hours, just venting my frustration. And I'm still mad. Why can't I be more productive with my anger? All over some useless un-romantic un-initiative insensitive inconsiderate thickhead who's caught up in his own

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-40394722736534382372007-11-10T20:19:00.000+11:002007-11-10T20:23:57.711+11:00

Crazy how it feels tonight Crazy how you make it all alright love Crush me with the things you do And I do for you anything too Sitting smoking feeling high And in this moment it feels so right Lovely lady I am at your feet God I want you so badly And I wonder this Could tomorrow be So wondrous as you there sleeping Let's go drive 'till morning comes And watch the sunrise and fill our souls up

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-83210875968233177152007-10-30T10:55:00.000+11:002007-10-30T14:05:37.779+11:00

My soul is so so so unsettled.Why do I do things even when I know the outcome will be shit? Why is it that even though I know the end product, I still trudge on willingly, consciously resigned, but subconsciously hoping against hope that my sheer will and selflessness might possibly change things. Am I really such a pollyenna? My insides are just wrenched and gutted, and yet I have to think and

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-21126284853932761812007-10-14T12:41:00.000+10:002007-10-17T00:31:21.839+10:00

Sometime, it's best to sit back and let others express my sentiments."Show me how you do that trickThe one that makes me scream" she said"The one that makes me laugh" she saidAnd threw her arms around my neck"Show me how you do itAnd I promise you I promise thatI'll run away with youI'll run away with you"Spinning on that dizzy edgeI kissed her face and kissed her headAnd dreamed of all the

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-34853722699712274462007-10-07T13:18:00.000+10:002007-10-07T13:19:10.143+10:00

Oh sigh.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-36463349995117609122007-09-22T03:01:00.000+10:002007-09-22T03:09:49.449+10:00

But will I hold you again? These fickle, fuddled words confuse me Like 'Will it rain today?'And so they do; and so they do.Duckling is beautiful. She's everything I am, and everything I wish I could be. Ha, it's 3am.Baby, it's 3am I must be lonelyAnd she says 'Baby well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes'Says the rain's gonna wash away, I believe itTo bed, to bed. This is fast

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-55354884679759460332007-09-16T01:12:00.000+10:002007-09-16T01:29:48.458+10:00

Sentimentalist and Romantic. A dangerous combination to be.I think I made a discovery about myself today. I develop expectations based on concrete inferences, on what I would personally do if I was put in a certain situation, and I like people to do the same. And when they don't, I get very very pissy. I throw hissy fits and start feeling spiteful. I never thought this was true, but to a certain

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-38873696911564690722007-09-14T15:49:00.000+10:002007-09-14T15:54:52.828+10:00

I think I've figured out what my problem is. I need to make a decision, and bleeding well stick to it. None of that 'which is the best alternative' shit. You can't have your cake and eat it Daph, life's not like that.Make up your mind, and give it your best shot. Never mind if you fail, at least you'll fail gloriously.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-50748507278556317332007-09-10T20:06:00.000+10:002007-09-10T20:19:02.119+10:00

The princess has been told she's clingy. Wow. What a slap in the face. But different circumstance. Different. I haven't blogged in such a long time. I feel like, there's so much to say, yet too little words to express it. I can't remember the last time I was so fucked in the head. Never, I guess. This is new. Daphne has just indirectly admitted that she's in the wrong. She's never been one to

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-20238348955052841352007-08-24T02:10:00.000+10:002007-08-24T02:16:18.844+10:00

Isn't it funny how everytime I harden up a little, something nice comes my way and I melt yet again into a mushy puddle? This has got to stop. Why am I such an emotional mess? It's ridiculous, Daphne should be scoffing at this. This constant inextinguishable spark of optimism; I've almost become a pollyanna myself. Always looking into everything for something more. I should be ashamed. It's late

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-81118003765987679222007-08-15T23:22:00.001+10:002007-08-15T23:29:44.020+10:00

Either I'm too nice, or I'm too sensitive. I don't know which. Make up your mind Daph.Maybe I'm a bit of both, I'm screwed now aren't I? Sometimes when I get really tired, I just get sick of trying and don't even bother. It's a terrible state for me to get to, but I do it, remorselessly too. It's bad. Oh well, what the hey. Whereas most people sit somewhere in the middle, I rest at the extreme

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-67519008509988218422007-08-14T23:08:00.000+10:002007-08-14T23:30:31.550+10:00

12th August 2007 - A day of firstsThe first time I went skiing. And did very well for a first timer.First time I had ever see that many stars in the sky. We were 5 hrs out of the city, and there wasn't a single light aside from the occasional car on the road, and the iridescent stars in the sky. I swear, I had never seen the sky filled with that many stars. It was simply breath-taking. I sat in

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-3428311395994950452007-08-10T00:02:00.000+10:002007-08-10T00:10:20.222+10:00

I think Pride is one of my major sins. Never thought much of it, but I think I just realised it. Nothing gets me more offended than being patronised and talked down to. And when I'm annoyed, I usually try to work things out. I just leave, simply cuz I couldn't be bothered. Some people might say that's an attitude problem. I say, 'tough titties'. I'm in the right.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-26496633446873624572007-08-06T07:41:00.000+10:002007-08-06T07:49:25.268+10:00

I am a working woman now =)And it feels good to be able to say I am able to stand on my own two feet, if I choose to.Regardless of the fact that I had some connections which helped me get the job in the first place, I am proud to say that I have done a mighty marvelous j0b on my first two days at hospitality, and have gotten good reports from my supervisors. Not that I'm allowed to know that.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-218521359987975822007-07-28T16:36:00.000+10:002007-07-28T16:39:53.356+10:00

Am I an alcoholic? 3pm on a Saturday afternoon and I have a beer. It's not even nice beer. It's VB, the shittest beer around, and I swirl it in my mouth with delight. There's a benefit party tonight, but I just feel like staying in, drinking by myself and doing housework and tidying up til the night falls and it's time to turn in. I think I have issues. I think I think too much. Like the country

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-64950263841174617342007-07-28T16:29:00.000+10:002007-07-28T16:36:02.564+10:00

The LTA said commuters can cut travelling time by 5 to 8 minutes using this new underground expressway.6 years; S$2.5 billion; a reduced travelling time by 5-8 minutes. You do the math.Sometimes I wonder whether we really fail to see the forest for the trees. Or are we too privileged we have to find a solutions to problems that don't really exist.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-33631177419324505562007-07-28T05:23:00.000+10:002007-07-28T05:27:25.761+10:00

Why am I such a fucking doormat?It's time you started being less accommodating Daphne. Nice girls never get a slice of the pie.

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805264.post-38969218402218553082007-07-21T11:59:00.000+10:002007-07-21T12:48:34.860+10:00

At the behest of Shamaine, this sucker just got tagged as well. Here's what I want, and I'm gona work my ass off for many of these things, but here goes!Things I want but will never get in this lifetime:1. to win a Oscar2. to be Dionysus in The Bacchae3. to be Hamlet4. to be Lady Macbeth5. to play Macbeth 6. to play Richard III7. to be in Waiting for Godot8. to marry Rob Thomas9. to marry Hugh

dyseluxonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09348973011277075708noreply@blogger.com