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Thursday, January 29, 2009
Let it all go up in smoke and flames. Isn't that nice? Forget the past, the good times, the foundation, all that time spent nurturing and what-not. 'You're saying it just because you're hurt. You don't mean it' - Gladys How wonderful that someone has some insight into me. But I'm not hurt. I'm beyond hurt. I've no time to let myself be hurt. I'm just apathetic, how this society and the people around me have conditioned me to be. Isn't that nice? How wonderful it is to be really truly blase eh? Wish I could say I belong to that enlightened few.
Monday, January 12, 2009
I can't believe this is almost happening. Am I getting ahead of myself. Breathe Daph. Don't build it up or you will risk greater disappointment. A step at a time. Look after yourself.
Oh my gosh, I can't believe this is almost happening.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Amidst the capitalism and commercialism, what does Chinese New Year mean to us? Red Packets, buying and wearing new clothes, seeing close and distant family members (be it willingly or grudgingly), bah kwa, pineapple tarts, F&N Orange, having a few days off work, catching up with friends and chillaxing after the stressful visitings.
But looking back to thousands of years ago, Chinese New Year is the celebration of the arrival of Spring. Hence spring cleaning (cue in series of distressed moans).
Almost like a revelation. I knew that. I merely forgot it.
In another 50 years, I wonder what the essence of Chinese New Year will be. Will people remember that it's a celebration of Spring? Of the surviving of another frosty angry winter? Well, in ancient times, in ancient China, it was. Clearly not in tropical Singapore, where even the monsoon disappoints with its cool windy nights and sultry balmy days and threateningly dark skies that clear away like a noisy puppy's harmless incessant barking.
Let's not lose sight of the real essence of things amidst this capitalist turmoil.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
This is stupid. The heart is but an abstract notion. What the fuck are we on?
Cold TurkeyYou are my drug;The more I have you, the more I want you.Until I find myself spiraling in an unbreakable downward descent into a passionate obsessional frenzy of violet thoughts.It's moments after I've had you when I feel on top of the world, capable of anything, capable of even forgetting you.Then the sweetness from the interaction peels away, and I am left naked, standing out at the mercy of the faceless crowd with my heart in my upturned palms, almost begging for your benevolence.My cupped hands wishing for some of your sweetness.Just to see a smileHear a laughFashion a shared moment burned into my cerebrum. You are the hydrogen in the air I breathe.Has abso-fucking-lutely nothing of any use to me,Yet without you everything is thrown out of synch.I can't function yet I know,Either I have your utter being; Your heart and soul.Me looming like your gilded goalerYou worshipping the words I whisper, Lingering amidst my every scent,Longing for my every touch.But you are too driven for this path of limited ambitionYou are too much of a stallion for me to tame.I can neither have your devotion nor your promises for your mind switches courses like the fickle winter wind.Or I quit you.Cold and hard.Cut you off like the failed puppet master releases her lifeless beaming husks of marionettes. I will fall;I will fall like the avalanches of Everest upon those who tried to assail herI will fall so swift and heavy like the hammer of Thor upon the untrueI will fall so deep and desperate that the minions of Poseidon will fail to catch meI will fall.Yet this seems to be the fairest thing to doOh for the sweetness of the earth to gape and swallow me whole.For the blitheness of a new life in a foreign land, nameless and renewed, Seeking out my destiny with another.For a taste of what's mine.I grow old. I grow weak. I shall grow numb.And when this day comes, I will be but a shell of me.
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