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Saturday, September 20, 2008
What the fuck is wrong with people? Seriously, I don't get anyone anymore. Is it just me? Am I the one who's losing touch with the harsh reality of things? Or am I just expecting too much of the people around me? Seems like the only people you can really count on these days is your family. I just can't fucking keep up with this shit anymore. I just want to write everyone off, just keep working, screw intimate one-on-one or personal relationships. I'm happy with huge impersonal social gatherings. Where everyone gathers, gets pissed, has a jolly good time, and goes home. Why is it that it seems as if everyone has a huge network, yet I can't even keep a tiny one going? I really hate this shit. Do I have 'come make use of me then ignore me to hell' written on my forehead? If I do, I fail to see it. All I see in the mirror is a disillusioned embittered cynical angry isolated individual. Maybe my occupation should have been a hermit eh?No one means anything anymore. Nothing means anything anymore. Except my art. Let my art encompass and infiltrate every part of me. Everything else is inconsequential and transient. We came into the world alone, and we leave it alone.No sentimentality. Everything is an opportunity cost. Every relationship is part of a learning curve.Maybe I should dig out my heart and soul and bury it deep within the recesses of some swamp. That way least I know where it is, and it's safe from society's manhandling.
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