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Wednesday, August 06, 2008
I think I am beginning to assimilate an inkling of this... entity in me.I am afraid of letting it go. Because......it was the best I could find.And I don't want to let go of it. For fear of never returning back to it.Or maybe even being afraid that if I let it go, it will melt away into the vicissitudes of the shores of my vast memories. And cease to hold any special significance. And I will be left with nothing. Nothing but the burnt out grey remains of a once beauteous effervescent sparkler. Now lying pointless, exhausted of its function, form and meaning. Fit for nowhere but the depths of the dirt.How does one shy away from sentimentality?Hold on Hold on to yourself for this is gonna hurt like hell.
Hold on Hold on to yourself. You know that only time can tell
What is it in me that refuses to believe this isn't easier than the real thing.
Am I in heaven here or am I... At the crossroads I am standing.
So now you're sleeping peaceful I lie awake and pray that you'll be strong tomorrow and will see another day and we will praise it and love the light that brings a smile across your face.
Oh god if you're out there won't you hear me. I know we're never talked before
Am I in heaven here or am I in hell at the crossroads I am standing.
Hold on hold on to yourself for this is gonna hurt like hell. ~Hold On, Sarah McLachlan So I hold on, in spite of everything, playing the ever-willing victim unnecessarily, when really, I could throw it all to the wolves and run careless and free. Because having nothing to tie me down also entails having nothing to come back to.So I wait.For the one to come along and wash me anew. And bind me with new chains of his own.Because we are, afterall, prisoners of our own choosing.
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