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Friday, July 04, 2008
Why am I so meek? Why do I put myself in situations where I feel awkward, and know not what to do? Why do I never grab the bull by the balls except when it doesn't matter? Let me be a girl for a moment, and since noone will listen to me whinge, let me indulge in a bit of online catharsis. I feel so totally stagnant. I need to get out of this abyss. I don't know where I'm going to get the funds from. I have no idea how I'm going to sustain myself if I forge through with this idea. The people here are dead. Things here possess a form I am not akin to. Yes, I AM Singaporean. Problem is, I don't feel Singaporean. How the fuck can I help it? What the fuck can I do? When I feel my friends judge me and I am incensed for the way I think, act and react, how can I trudge on here and keep taking all that bullshit? Don't preach at me. You have your mantra, I have mine. Don't tell me your philosophy. At the risk of sounding rude, I don't fucking care. I don't care that you think family is number 1. I don't care that not everyone is as lucky as I am. To be candid, shit happens. Some people have it lucky, some don't. Hate me for being one of the former. But don't tell me what you think I should do. If I have the opportunity to do whatever the hell I want to, then why the hell not? If you've got it, flaunt it, as Ulla says.Oh my God, I hate everything and everyone right now. Even you, the internet. I can't be bothered to write anymore. This is stupid, inane, and pointless. And definitely angsty. Fuck.
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