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Monday, May 05, 2008
Maybe if I could just get away from it all.I feel like a stranger to the familiar things.I feel disaffected. There's too much cynicism happening. A healthy dose of cynicism keeps one's head in check. But seriously, this, this is just ridiculous.I don't know anything anymore.I'm not sure of anything anymore.Why do we have to prove ourselves to the world? What exactly are we living for? I feel this rift ever so slowly getting bigger and bigger. Can it be reconciled? Will it be wrong of me to give up? Makes no difference to me anyway. I'll still go on doing what I do.I have to keep my positivity afloat, and what if the people around me are dragging it down? What do I do? Do I abandon ship to save myself? Or do I stick it in there and risk having the positivity sucked out of me? Which is right? Somehow selflessness sometimes isn't the best option.When does self-control become self-preservation?And when does self-preservation become self-centredness?And when does it all become fatalism?
I'm so mentally fatigued. I can't fight this struggle anymore. It's me against whatever there is all out there.
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