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Friday, May 23, 2008
I am just about ready to behead the next inefficient person who steps into my way.It's official: I hate production managing.Correction: I hate production managing with inefficient people. Singaporeans are too narrow-minded and just plain stupid sometimes. Which equals to inefficiency. When you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. When you pay a Singaporean peanuts, you get fucked over. Yah. Unless some idiot by the name of Daphne Quah does the job for free cuz she's such a doof.Daphne Quah is........ her current mental state of mind would be..... frazzled. Yes. As frazzled as a fried fish who was skewered and fried on a spit while still alive. Yes. Sounds apt. Slightly dramatic, but apt.No more whinging. Need to do something. It's difficult when you're in theatre. You can't go out and embark on a project on your own. You need a company, a play, a cast, a crew, a team. It's not like corporate work. So why do I feel so unsatiated? What do I want with my life?Listening to Muse brings back memories. Bittersweet memories. Why?Why must something so beautiful and awesome be tainted with something so... bittersweet? I can never listen to Muse, Dave Matthews Band, Amy Winehouse, Ben Harper, the Killers, Kate Miller-Heidke, Massive Attack's 'Mezzanine', The Kinks, New Young Pony Club and Matchbox20 without some subconscious memories etching through my being. Sad. Tis life. Time will cover the dredges. Only to be unearthed again down the line. What's the point? Might as well crash and burn. Life's a bitch and then you die. No. I won't do this again. I've been through this. I'm over it... right?Someone throw me a line.... Hook, line and sinker...
'You could be my unintended Choice to live my life extended You could be the one I'll always love You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions You could be the one I'll always love I'll be there as soon as I can But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before'Ah.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
I can't do this anymore.Rather,I don't want to do this anymore.What's the difference anyway? I just can't. I'm losing myself. I can literally feel myself draining away.
Take me back.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Okie, So, tkng the advicw of ShmINE, from like ges afo,) I a,m bloggoing while piaaased. Fun. Well, I think i know what the hell I'm saying, but CLEARLY my pmputer doesn't agree. ahahahah I haven't had anlot. only two alves of a vodka sprite and 2 1/2 mojitoes. nie........................ I like. and a qlk to the 2ns hearest ATM inbetween, cuz the nerest atn wasn't working. Th fuck. well. I write wel.COnsiderng I'm sorta drunj. I dunno. Am i? I reckon If i REALLY wanted to, could write a VERY sober post. but really, whohas th time and ener gy to cre> I'll write whayever the shit I want, whever will read it, and it will be history. End of story. Noone qill cRE. Noone ever cares. Ha. Drunken tLE. FUNy ass. Seth was funnier ahehehehhehe He was SO pissed. FUNY ASS. OKIE. End of story. I will read this tomrrp nd see hw sober I was ahhah Nite! I liem being tipiisy and s;oighlu incohrent. I like. nice. mmm
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
I think, I need a shag. A shag will set everything straight and proper. Yes. A good shag always makes everything right. Nothing like a good shag. *nods affirmatively in all seriousness*
Monday, May 05, 2008
Maybe if I could just get away from it all.I feel like a stranger to the familiar things.I feel disaffected. There's too much cynicism happening. A healthy dose of cynicism keeps one's head in check. But seriously, this, this is just ridiculous.I don't know anything anymore.I'm not sure of anything anymore.Why do we have to prove ourselves to the world? What exactly are we living for? I feel this rift ever so slowly getting bigger and bigger. Can it be reconciled? Will it be wrong of me to give up? Makes no difference to me anyway. I'll still go on doing what I do.I have to keep my positivity afloat, and what if the people around me are dragging it down? What do I do? Do I abandon ship to save myself? Or do I stick it in there and risk having the positivity sucked out of me? Which is right? Somehow selflessness sometimes isn't the best option.When does self-control become self-preservation?And when does self-preservation become self-centredness?And when does it all become fatalism?
I'm so mentally fatigued. I can't fight this struggle anymore. It's me against whatever there is all out there.
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