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Monday, April 30, 2007
So I'm an uber-bitch. I am.Me: You've got to see 300, it's great!Him: Damn I was just going to ask you out to watch that movie, now you've gone and spoiled it. Guess I'll have to ask you out to another movie.Him: This is the part where you're supposed to say "I'd love to catch a movie with you."Me: Really? I'm supposed to say that?If I were me, I'd slap myself and call me names prescribed to genitalia, and worse.I just can't help myself. When a man acts like a total wanker or smartmouth, it just automatically sets off this major bitchiness within me. I just want someone to be himself. To try to impress or be funny, is definite failure with me. Why am I like that? Why am I so harsh? I've just had enough of all that pretentious shit. I'm looking for sincerity and it seems that it's a harder task than locating Atlantis.I can see it now, I'm gonna die alone and bitter and wretched, with a dog on my lap.The man I'm searching for doesn't exist. The men I'm interested in end up interested in my friends. The men that are interested in me are absolute tools.I fear that being alone for such a long time is going to harden me inside, and when the right guy comes along, I won't know how to open up to him because I'm so jaded and dead inside. I can feel myself already slowing withering up. I can't remember the last time I had a crush on someone. Much less try to recall when I really liked someone. And butterflies in the stomach? That's alien to me now.My friend sent me some ridiculous 'Love Calculator' thing, those things you do when you're in primary school. I had to fill in three crushes. And I had to rack my brain for even one. And I made up the other two. How pathetic. "My soul is like an expensive piano that's been locked up, and someone's lost the key."
Irena, Chekhov's Three Sisters.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
grumpalicious says:im reading a book now called WHY MEN LOVE BITCHESgrumpalicious says:not like, angie-bitchygrumpalicious says:but like independent-bitchyCLASSIC. That's why I love her. Because she knows she's a bitch, yet she's unapologetic about it. Although sometimes I really do want to wring her neck and string her up on the clothesline.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Singapore may have to legalise homosexuality April 24, 2007 SINGAPORE, April 24 (Reuters) - Singapore may eventually have to legalise homosexuality, particularly if it wants to foster creativity and become more cosmopolitan, Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew said on Tuesday. "Let's not pretend it doesn't exist," he said in an interview with Reuters, adding that he saw "no option" for Singapore but to decriminalise homosexual sex. "They tell me that homosexuals are creative writers, dancers. If we want creative people, then we have to put up with their idiosyncrasies," Lee said.
Mr Lee, who this week publicly questioned the city-state's ban on sex
between men, said the country would still need to respect the views
of its more conservative citizens.
"We are not promoters of it and we are not going to allow Singapore
to become the vanguard of Southeast Asia," Mr Lee said.
Under Singapore law, a man who is found to have committed an act of
"gross indecency" with another man can be jailed for up to two years,
though prosecutions are rare.
In November, the Ministry of Home Affairs said it was considering
decriminalising oral and anal sex between consenting heterosexual
adults, but not between homosexuals.
The authorities have banned gay festivals and censored gay films,
saying homosexuality should not be advocated as a lifestyle. But,
despite the official ban on gay sex, Singapore has a thriving gay scene.
MM Lee's comments come at a time when many groups, such as
Singapore's Law Society, are clamouring for a review of the laws
against homosexual sex, which they view as outdated and archaic.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~This makes me angry. This makes me livid. "They tell me that homosexuals are creative writers, dancers. If we want creative people, then we have to put up with their idiosyncrasies." WHAT THE F**K?????? Someone's sexual orientation is not an idiosyncrasy, Mr Minister-Mentor Lee. How come someone possibly be so demeaning and close-minded and shallow and insensitive?! And how in the world would homosexuals in Singapore affect its being the vanguard of Southeast Asia?!~ Because homosexuality is an exclusively Caucasian thing? It's a rare disease that hampers and impedes the advancement of the economy by its mere presence? And we Asians are above this debilitating "idiosyncrasy"? URGH!!! It frustrates me how people can be so small-minded!!! How can I be expected to live in this country and put up with its shit? And such a statement! If you want creative people, well, stop inviting foreign acts in which take up local theatres. Perhaps some funding to local groups would be good. Maybe try in encourage creativity from primary school, not merely introducing a half-hr session on "creative thinking" per week in secondary 3. And does that mean heterosexual people are not creative? GOODNESS! Where is the justice in this!!!!!!!!! I suspect it's not the more conservative citizens that might be offended, it's the freaking government and its bloody attempt to homogenize the entire country. What is this?! Hitler's Germany minus the mass killing because it's been illegalised? Pretty much like everything else in Singapore is. No one cares about homosexuals romping around the city except the homosexuals! Simply because they can't! So by allowing homosexuality we're "not respecting the views of more conservative citizens"? What about the homosexuals whose sexual orientation has been classified as an "idiosyncrasy"? What about their views? Does noone respect them? By not allowing homosexuality aren't they being disrespected and demeaned and slighted? Does no one care about them then?? Take your small-mindedness and discrimination and double-sidedness Minister-Mentor Lee, and maybe after you legalize homosexual acts, you can think of legalizing some other "idiosyncrasy" of some other "minority group". Just HOW can someone box-ify 'creative people' and say most of them are gay?? ARGH!!!!!!! Just because the dog has four legs doesn't mean all four-legged animals are dogs!!! I am angry. I am very very angry. I am positively seething. If Singapore wants to be the vanguard of anything, it has to stop being so terribly narrow-minded and self-righteous. If Singapore's the vanguard of anything, it's the vanguard of chauvinism, self-righteousness and pompousness, all tightly-wrapped in a tiny box with a white ribbon on the top. And served on a silver platter with the Lee family coat of arms engraved into the gilded rim.Urgh. I can see Singapore's future now. Despite all its bids to be a world-class city; its thriving economy (of which the golden age has already passed); its world's number 1 air and sea port; its intellectual people who study by rote and are spoon-fed; its constant attempts to attract foreign investors into the country; its trying to be a hub for every single damned aspect in the world, she will always be 10years behind everyone. So what if we're a first world country where the average populace is middle-class, where there's hardly any poverty (even if there is they cull them in the middle of the night, I swear), where almost half the population own the 5Cs, so what? We're still none-the-richer than Cuba, a fifth world nation, in terms of humanity. World's best air and sea ports, and we're in the bottom 30 in terms of free-speech. It's almost tantamount to selling your soul to the devil in exchange for some riches, isn't it? Why lock up your dog at home, afraid it'll run away and deprive it of exercise and it'll become fat and unhealthy and die early, when you can bring it out with you and train it to keep to your side even without the leash, and you both benefit from the exercise and he gets to live longer, as do you. I'm sure the citizens of Singapore aren't so unintelligent and unresponsive that they can't be taught like dogs, are they?Stop treating us as children and pets Mr Lee, we are individuals who have thoughts and ideas, and stop suppressing those thoughts of ours from kindergarten, because you will end up with a country full of bitter, scared, silenced old people, who can't think for themselves even if the think-stick walked right up to them and introduced itself, who wouldn't know where to go or what to do if they were dropped in the middle of some foreign country.
Drunken nursery rhymes
There once was a man from NantucketHis dick was so long he could suck itHe sat on a fenceAnd pulled down his pantsAnd sprayed all his cum in a bucket.
4 sober girls feeling extremely old amidst a bunch of high school kids in an Irish pub on the eve of a public holiday.
And a ride on a Ferris wheel. Laughing their heads off from fear or excitement, who knows. Yelling 'This bit! This bit!' at every single bit.
And a lost earring. Bugger.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Guh.
Friday, April 20, 2007
"O day and night, but this is wondrous strange!" How odd is it that after struggling for so long with annoying essays, I get my two highest marks, marks I never dreamed of; that I never even knew existed, in my third year and my Honours year, and both from the same tutor; who is the most pedantic, anal-retentive, hard-arsed, hard-but-fair, head of anti-plagiarism in Monash, scary American feminist lady. Maybe my efforts are starting to pay off. Nevertheless, it gives me a warm feeling in my heart. So what if I didn't get the scholarship? I've proved to myself that I'm capable, and that's all that matters. And ironically, they were the two essays that I was the most unconfident about, and that I thought I was way off the mark, and hence did a truckload of research. Now we see where the secret lies. Research, and pedantic MLA. MLA works wonders for you if you look after it. But on, back to working on my current essay. Let's hope there's magic left in me yet to cast on it.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
People are just full of bullshit.Everyone is self-obsessed. Even you Daphne. Don't you forget that.
Friday, April 13, 2007
We did it. I did it.Nine runs; Three classic plays; Three days, 1400bucks profit; 500 enthralled audience members; Ten rehearsals per show."I train in army boots."
Well said, Peter. We've trained in army boots, and we've climbed the mountain. We even managed to make Chekhov non-boring! Now that's gotta be something! This is great. I am so buggered and knackered, yet it all doesn't matter, I'm loving every single second of this process. I love how Peter pushes us beyond our comfort zone."Don't be mediocre. You must be special. Make every single moment special."
And in the process, I have empowered myself. I have learnt to trust myself and the techniques I have acquired. Never mind that my line was jumped over in the evening show of Hamlet. Never mind that I screwed up my lines for the matinee of Three Sisters and toppled the candle and got hot wax on my fingers. Never mind that I forgot not to say 'they' in the evening run of The Crucible. What matters is that I felt it. I felt myself affected by what I was doing. I endowed myself. And it felt great. I was a storyteller for those three days, and I was successful. I told my story, I took the audience on a journey and moved them, and in the process, I moved myself, even while remaining aloof and distant.Words of Wisdom from a Wise Old Man"Look after yourself."
"What's your archetype?"
"Ask a real question."
"Don't be sentimental."
"Jump into it; don't jump out of it"
"Use your 'I want's."
"Stay in it!!"
"the unbroken line of life"
"Affect others."
"Trust the language"
"Shakespeare/Chekhov/Arthur Miller is looking after you."
"The techniques will look after you."
"Use your archetype."
"Don't hold up the river."
"Emotions follow Technique."
"Don't let your emotions lead."
I am glad. I am not happy. Happiness leads to complacency. I am satisfied and motivated. I want more. Simply because I know I can. Because I, Daphne, am a wonder among flowers.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Life, Art and Dreams
"Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! Because I am not worth the dust on the feet of them that hang! How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!"
~ John Proctor, The Crucible.The floundering of the human spirit to seek reprieve within his martyrdom against a lost cause. Fuck. Sometimes we make martyrs of ourselves not directly for a larger cause. Sometimes, we seek merely to ease the magistrate that sits within our hearts. The need to ease our own conscience is a somewhat larger driving force than the righteousness within us we feel we owe towards society.Fuck. That's one good play. I can't remember the last play that moved me and gripped me as much as The Crucible did.But, is one's name worth more than one's soul? I cannot help but be shaken by the ridiculous nature of this quest.And sometimes, to achieve real solace, we have to let go of the comforts that hold us back. To Let go of the blanket of assurance, and come face-to-face with the enemy within that speaks the truth, and whom we have to yield to. As Geoffrey Rush did beautifully in Exit The King. Fuck. Another tour-de-force. His yielding to his futility; the slow eventual collapse of his castle: how the cloth framing the imaginary window and the cloth cyclorama held up precariously by cables descended ever so slowly unto the ground as he succumbed his will, inch by inch, to the ascend of the throne. How ironic, that in accepting our frailty and faults, it is when we truly ascend unto our thrones and attain a sort of power over our lives and truly attain immortality. This is Theatre that challenges. This is Theatre that probes. This is Theatre that invokes. Oh when will Singapore see such plays? Enough with frivolous pantomines and re-stagings of past hits and controversial gender/sexual-issue plays. Give me theatre that strikes one's heart and takes one's breath away. Let Theatre leave me breathless. Bid me hold my breath, take me on a journey, make me feel what you're feeling too.And with the tilting of his head back unto the throne, with his final gasp, the lights snap off too, as if they thrived upon his live, or, they were representative of his life's essence. Save for that one naked iridescent tungsten bulb hanging at the back. And that light fades to black. And so Exits The King.What is this business we call life? What is this business we call acting? Ahhhh, the beauty of it all. How unreachable."This acting business is hard." - Peter OystonAnd so it is, and therein lies the appeal, charm and beauty that's gotten such a strong hold on me.Oh, if ever I could be to Singapore, or anywhere, for that matter, what Geoffrey Rush is to Australia, what Sir Ian McKellen is to Shakespeare. I could not ask for more then. If I can inspire just one person as much as I am inspired by Geoffrey Rush or Ian McKellen, I'd die a fulfilled actor. I'd have lived a fulfilling life.
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