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Saturday, January 27, 2007
I think I've become a cruel heartless person. Okie, maybe not totally cruel and heartless, but hard hearted and distant. When it seems to me that I've opened up and become vulnerable, it takes no more than two days to make me realise I merely thought I opened up. I'm still as hard as ever. That aside, I think the harsh, vindictive, non-forgiving side in me has arisen, and that is not good, not good at all. It seems that the olden days were carefree and reckless. Nowadays it's all tentative and guarded. I feel like a tiger with a sore paw. What's wrong with me? I kinda like this lashing out at people. On the one hand, I don't have to tolerate much unnecessary shit anymore. But on the other hand, it ultimately doesn't really do much to better things, does it? I don't know, it's like I'm playing Good Cop Bad Cop with myself.
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