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Wednesday, December 20, 2006
After having a over-reaction paranoid attack last night, I resolved to 'just heck it, suck it up Daph'. And barely 24hrs later I get a nice surprise. I feel all warm and fuzzy already. Maybe it's not me, it's them. It's what I say to comfort myself, but for now, I believe it. I can't say for sure how I'd feel in a couple of days or months, but we'll see when the time comes.It's a little ego-breaking, when I think it. Among the girls in the Honours group, I'm the only one who hasn't been in any of the plays with the dream casts. I've always been in the underdog play. I've never worked closely with any of the other girls. Will this be primary school all over again? Being the odd one out? But this time round, the stakes are raised. 6 girls. 4 boys. Very many messy hook ups. And a nasty nagging suspicion that one of the girls ain't my biggest fan. Ooopppps, I forget, TWO of those girls aren't too big on me. But I make a promise to myself that next year, my final year in an academic institution, will be nothing short of a mind-rippling journey, where I am pushed to depths I never thought myself capable, whether pushed by myself, or others. I will not let past experiences or bitchy people get to me, I owe myself this much. I will hold my head up high and my talent on my sleeve and I will trudge through this minefield and I will emerge victorious. I owe it to myself. I owe it to my parents. And I owe it to the people who believe in me and whose encouragement has never ceased.I think I need to start getting busy and proving to myself that I can do things. Get cracking you lazy whore!!
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