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Monday, May 01, 2006
I am a greedy selfish person.I just realised today how selfish I really am. I knew all along that everyone's intrinsically selfish, to a certain degree, but I totally shocked myself today. I was never an advocate of the whole 'If I can't have it, no one else can' theory. But today I amazed myself when my mouth was saying 'yeah sure, go for it!' but my mind was thinking 'no, shit, fuck'. And I put on the disguise of pretending to be interested in what was going on and teasing, when my real ulterior motive was to find out how things were, and to be in the loop and know the goings-on, just so I could be in the know. I disgust me. I can't believe I'm doing such a sly thing. It's so uncharacteristically me. I'm not that sweet, thoughtful, sincere girl everyone thinks I am. I have my dark side too. Please see that.I don't wanna get bitterI don't wanna turn cruelI don't wanna get old before I have toI don't wanna get jaded ~ Bitter , Jill Sobule
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