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Friday, April 21, 2006
I lost my credit card.How in the world does one lose their credit card, you wonder? I have absolutely no idea. I wonder too. The last I remembered, I was paying off my speeding fine online with it, and left it on the table next to my laptop, next to the printer, amidst a whole bunch of other small knick-knacks. Next I know, I'm looking for it and I simply can not find it anywhere in the flat. I've searched high and low, under and above, between and amongst, I simply can't find it. Maybe it's a sign that I shouldn't be getting my Balenciaga bag? Hmmm, no. I am getting my bag, by hook or by crook. And I suspect it's the latter eheheheheheMeanwhile, I'm pigging out on M&M crispy speckled eggs cuz I missed out on my easter eggs. I'm such a pig, I know. I'm totally good for a period of time, then I lose control and totally have a binge fest. Then I feel guilty, and blame the weather for being cold so I can't run. Then I start easting healthy all over again, and refrain from sweets and stuff, and the urge accumulates and I have another binge fest, and the cycle repeats itself ehehe Or maybe it's just my period approaching. On that note, I really hope I get my period before Lovepuke opens on Thursday, or even right at the start of the run. I don't want to be worrying bout my period and being bothered by it during the after-party. 'Nuff said. There are prudes reading this blog. Hunh.I realised Lovepuke has brought out a side of me I never knew existed. The Daphne that talks bout farting and its smells and what you do after you go to the toilet. The dirty minded Daphne that cracks really obscene jokes and doesn't flinch. The Daphne that doesn't blush when talking about bikini lines and penises and blowjobs, to a guy. The Daphne that isn't afraid to say what she thinks and show what she feels. The Daphne that is not ashamed to cry. That Daphne that isn't afraid of showing affection and being teased about it. The Daphne that isn't afraid of being who she is and knowing that people still love and acknowledge her for who she is and still accept her as a unique, special, amazing person. The Daphne that is humble and down-to-earth, yet at the same time confident and assertive, but not to the extent of being overbearing and stifling. Basically the Daphne that isn't afraid to show that she's human, and vulnerable, and has flaws and boo-boos, jsut like everyone else, except she doesn't hide it and isn't afraid to show it.Well, maybe I knew all along that this side of me existed, but I was just never comfortable enough in my own skin to allow her to come through. There's always this reputation to keep up, especially coming from such a high-strung culture. But these are things everyone encounters in life, at one point of another, so why are we so squeamish about them? Every thinks them, let them be said! Maybe it's just the people in the play that happen to be more open bout such things. Or maybe it's just the content of the play itself. Lovepuke. Because love is squeamish. Love is about being comfortable with your own gross bits, and getting to know and accepting, and coming to love your partner for all his gross bits. That's real love. That's what Lovepuke is all about. Because Love is like puke. Vile and gross and icky. But it exists, and we have to accept it.I push with all my mightBut the toilet bowl's still whiteThis one won't come without a fightIf you were here I'd be all right ~ Argument #2, LovepukeSweating and snotting and snorting and spewingdribbling and foaming and farting and poohingpissing and sneezing and burping and chunderingthese are my favourite bodily functionseach one accompanied with cerebral malfunctionslove conquers allincluding my better senseslove sweat love shitI love your every bit ~ Hermione, LovepukeHow true. I wait for the day when I can safely say I dare to open my heart. But til then, I'm slowly inching my way there.
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