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Thursday, February 09, 2006
And the footsteps move on.Yet the heart still lingers, casting back a forlorn melancholy look every so often. I don't think I'll ever get over it fully, I'll never be able to amply mourn my loss, yet I must not see it that way, for it is nobody's loss, but her gain.I bite my tongue and patiently await the day when this family opens its eyes and bares its heart and offers it all upon Him. Everytime I am confronted with her memory, the knowledge that I wasn't there to say my goodbye plagues my heart.Why is it that this family stubbornly clings unto their empty traditions and refuse to to touched and enlightened? It pains me that with every effort, the same resilient stone face is met.How? When? are the two questions to which the answers I yearn for.Oh let me pour forth my tiny bursting heart, that I may bring this sorrow to its resolution and rejoice in the peace and bliss that now enfolds this beautiful person who is now in the embrace she so deserves. Let me open the flood gates, that I may cleanse my heart of its agony and learn to start anew. Heart of my own heart, whatever befalls, Still be my vision, O Ruler of all.For we are all imperfect and bound to mistakes; can they not see that? Why dwell upon the small fractures and fail to appreciate the beauty of the full picture? I'm so sick of all the petty squabbling and nasty comments. Can we not get together as one and give thanks for the existence of such a wonderful person in our lives?For my family will come home. To Him. But some prejudices are etched so deep that with each word that is uttered, I feel like a knife is being wrenched from my heart. I'm just so tired of all this scepticism and cynicism. Someone lend me some strength, I feel my faith dimmed in this bombardment of sorts. It's me against every one else. How can I speak?
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