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Thursday, June 09, 2005
TrustHow easy is it to destroy in an instant something that was built up over an extended period of time? It's a complex, ungraspable concept that plagues us all. In the span of one night, two people cheated on, four people people cheated themselves, and three people were accomplices to the cheats. How can I trust someone when I can't even find an example of trust in my life? How can I trust someone when I can't even trust myself to trust myself? It's scary when you witness, let alone participate in, the degradation of someone's worth in your eyes. Someone whom you held in regard, and seeing them tumble down from the pedestal you put them on. It shouldn't be a shocker; we are human after all, and humans are made to err, are we not? Yet it really shakes you up, and I find myself struggling to come to terms with myself; my place in the bigger plan of action; and the whole inevitability of things and the uncertainty in our lifes. Our life is not in our hands, we think it is, but it really isn't. Nothing is. It's all unreal, yet concrete.It seems that in the moments when we are physically connected to the people around us, it feels like we're actually emotionally further away. How can you connect with people on a deeper level when you're all cramped together in a physical space? It's a whole concept that hasn't taken place in my mind.This struggling... it's good, I guess. Helps me come to terms with myself and my surroundings. The world and its surprises. My life and its uncertainties.
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