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Thursday, April 14, 2005
How do you connect to your world?We're all becoming increasingly connected by the advance of technology, yet the connundrum is that at the same time, we're getting emotionally distanced by this very advancement. Why do we need verbal and physical closure when they come at the expense of emotional resolve? And yet, with the world becoming increasingly smaller, our vision seems to get more myopic and clouded. Stereotypes still exist, and discrimination is rampant under the guise of tolerance.Catholics don't use contraception.The Jewish are stingy people.Women can't drive.Asians can't drive.All Muslims are terrorists.Gays are promiscuous and dykes ride bikes.These totally biased and highly politically incorrect and extremely untrue stereotypes are staring us in the face and some people joke about them, yet the scary thing is that some people do believe in them, and that's what's so scary; that people are getting smarter, what with most people getting a university degree and all, yet their social exposure is close to zero. How emotionally and socially bankrupt are we as a race? Why are we tearing each other apart though we share the same soil and toil the same jobs?The wogs, the poms, the frogs, the chinks. Can't we put all that aside and just accept each other as part of humanity? Jokes are fine, it's good when we can laugh at ourselves share an emotionaly bonding across cultures, but it's the uncertainty of not knowing that makes us hold back the tiny bit that actually establishes a real relationship.I want to connect to the people around me. I want the people I know to open up to me, yet I'm ot prepared to open up to them. It's selfish, but it's my defense mechanism. What I keep to myself can't hurt me. But at the same time, keeping it all in can't help me too. I need to get beyond myself, and into the world outside of me. There is more to my existence then my being. I want to connect, yet be able to distance myself. I want to open up, yet keep to myself.I want security, yet freedom. I want love, yet despair fills me constantly. I want acceptance, yet isolation is comfort. I want it all, yet nothing satisfies me. I want to feel, yet the numbness is soothing.I want to receive, yet giving frightens me.I want to give without holding back, yet the vulnerability incurred deters me.I need to start connecting to my world.
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