|
|
|
 |
|
Friday, December 10, 2004
Chapter 20.1
What is this I'm lacking?
Direction.
What else?
Determination.
I need to stop doubting myself and start believing. Stop settling for whatever comes my way and start being specific and strict with what I want.
I need to believe that I am worth it.
I need to believe that I can do it.
I need to believe that I am special.
Above all, I need to believe that there is a certain role in the cosmos for me to fill that noone else can.
I say, 'Don't you know?'
You say, 'You don't know.'
I say, 'Take me out.'
- Take Me Out, Franz Ferdinand
But how do you narrow down your prospects when you don't even have a clue as to what you want?
I am not content with merely being part of the puzzle. I want to be a prominant center piece. I need to feel my worth. Don't be mistaken, it's not histrionism. I just need assurance. Don't we all? I just choose to seek it on the road less travelled.
But it seems that even the path's too narrow for my baggage, and fraught with left-overs from the previous seekers that it's become an obstacle for me. I want to thrash on, yet I'm afraid I might be disappointed at the end. But I've gone too far to turn back. Or have I? I need a sign, a guiding light, a friendly face, someone to hold my hand and walk with me when it gets tedious and rocky.
Or maybe I'm just not looking in the right places for the signs.
|
|
 |
|
 | |
|