|
|
|
 |
|
Monday, August 02, 2004
is this what limbo feels like?
to feel a great sense of inertia, coupled with a hint of resentment and lack of enthusiasm..... dreading the drudgery and aimless routine....... day after day... week after week.. month after month..... where you don't feel welcome, and you don't feel as if you fit in...... you stick out like a sore thumb in the wallpaper....... does that make sense? i can't wait for this to be over, for things to really start, for my life to truly begin..... to pick up where it left off, to test my wings and see if they're fully fledged.......
i can't take this performer's inertia...... i feel like my art is stagnating, my ability is stealthily retreating and i'm losing my touch............. i need to get on that stage.............. call it histrionicism.... narcissism..... showoff-iness....... pride...... lack of humility......... whatever.......
how do you feel free to express yourself as an artist in an environment where you don't even comfortable in? you are suppressed, your art is suppressed....... and you can't give your best........ i need space....... i need encouragement......... i need support........ i need to be praised............. i am an actor........ i am intrinsically self-centred, am i not? so feed me.... please........
on the other hand,
seems evrything's been sorted out, without even being sorted...... it's amazing what time apart can do to two confused minds...... it sets things in their proper places and lights the path for us to see........ and a sense of relief rushed through her, tingling from the base of her spine all the way up to the nape of her neck, then to her brain..........
so one thing's solved, but yet another rises out of the deep and looms overhead.......... will this never end?
|
|
 |
|
 | |
|