yes, how do i live with myself? i'm struggling to find out...... 'how do i live with myself?' very aptly put, i couldn't have said it better if i wanted to........
 
'What just happened?'
silence
'I don't know...'
 
'What do you mean it doesn't change a thing?'
...because it changes everything....
 
a great big hidden ball of mess arisen from a scattering of leftovers and indulgences
 
does anybody understand?
 
why is it that what's bad is usually unusually good? to knowingly do something you know is wrong is twice as bad, what then if you don't feel bad after? you know you've done something you shouldn't have done, yet you wanted it and saw it coming yet did nothing to prevent, instead, you encouraged it, and when the time came for repentence you feel nothing but indifference....what has happened? why do you feel not like the greatest sinner, but rather, like the starved man who drinks from the well...... is it such a terrible sin to give in to pleasure? to do what the body tells you to? why do we stand to face the judgement and opinions of others who are far from perfect themselves? why must everything we do be dictated by social norms and rules? can we not decide for ourselves what's good and what's not? or have i lost myself along the way?

human beings crave for the tangible, the physical, what they can see, feel, and touch