alone again, naturally
doesn't it really kill u when u experience e feeling of being the most alone person in e world? when u do all that is in your means, but u still end up alone, facing an inanimate, cold, unreciprocative computer screen? u feel the emptiness well up inside you and slowly get bigger and bigger until it engulfs u whole........... and nothing u say or do can make the seeming emptiness go away.............. and u're just going through a downward spiral into a bottomless abyss........... without comfort or life.......... u feel so alone, so cold, so unwanted, so unloved, so jilted............... you would do anything for e slightest bit of acceptance and embrace from anyone......... how sad is that? when one is reduced to such a pitiless empty shell, no identity, no acceptance, no one to call friend, no place to call home........ and nowhere to go to for comfort, to seek solace in........ it's just terrible, day after day, night after night.......... to feel e familiar engulfing isolation and not be able to do a thing about it......... not matter what u try........ what is existence then? it is merely being without living......... living without experiencing............ experiencing without feeling......... it is e perfect time to seek self-discovery isnt it? but what if i don't wanna discover myself? what if i wanna lose myself in enjoyment and hedonism? that has got to suck a hell lot..... fuck isolation, fuck reprieve... give me uninhibited enjoyment

it's e feeling of being alone that makes u think about who and what u are, your self-worth and evaluating yourself...... at e right times it makes u feel a better person don't it? at e wrong times u just feel really little and worthless...... when u desperately want company yet are faced with being alone, that's when your inner demons start to emerge and wreck your stability of mind, to crumble your thoughts and shake your standing........... oh what i would give to be outside and losing myself in e crowd right now..............

everybody hurts sometimes
it's a terrible feeling to sit across someone u care about and watch e pain on their faces, no matter how hard they try to hide it, and know u're helpless to do a thing about it....... u feel their pain so intensely u cry their uncried tears......... is that what it means to love someone so much it hurts? i don't know....... but i hate that i am so weak that i take on e person's pain and show it for my own........ i hate that i can't b strong for myself, but that's okie........... but it sucks even more when i try all my might, but i just can't seem to b strong for e ppl i care about............ in fact, i'm so weak that i make em feel bad for making me feel their pain........ now isnt that ironic? it just hurts that u can so plainly see someone's pain, yet know u're unable to do a thing! all u can do is sit and feel bad, and offer groundless words that seem to dissolve into thin air e moment they leave your mouth...........
can someone please teach me to be strong? for others and for myself? cuz i'm sick of being weak, i'm sick of being the tap faucet, i'm sick of being oh-so-emotional and not being able to control myself....... when will i be able to stand unfazed, on my own?