it really sucks when u know that something's wrong and u wanna do something about it and help out e perosn that u care so much about but u can't simply because u're separated physically, and u know that if u were there u wld be able to make such a huge difference and feel so much reassured that u've got evrything under control even when it isn't.........................
and e people around u are all related, in one way or another..........
and u're just......
.............. how does that feel? and u've been such a pushover and a real huge softie that u can't say no to em about anything but can only bottle things up and get all miserable and upset and e only chance of a consolation is a line that stretches hundreds of miles away................
u get pushed around, bullied, manipulated, taken advantage of, and u find it difficult to stand up for urself cuz all along u've been to nice and they've just gotten comfortable with exploiting u and u can't do a thing not to stand up for urself and put a cap on this manipulation cuz it wld sour e friendships........ e people closest to u.......... or so, u thought.................
i wouldn't know............. but i can only imagine...........
yet it feels just as bad thinking about it and knowing that there's nothing i can do to help make things easier..........
i might risk spoiling things and causing a bigger rift than there already is, or i might cause more hurt to e person i so care about cuz his so-called 'friends' might over-react and start turning e tables on him and he's all alone and defenceless..........
i wish so badly that i was there to stand up for him and make sure that things wld be okie, and even if they weren't okie, that at least he wldn't be alone............. so badly..............
i don't know............
taking a break........... from thinking........ from being...............
The kids 'round here look just like sticks
They trade old licks with a beat up six
I just smile and catch the groove
Gothic girls all dress in black
Serious as heart attacks
It takes a little bit of getting used to
The old man with the whiskey stains
Lost the night forgot his name
His poor wife will sleep alone again
And it ain't hard to understand
Why she's holding on to her own hand
It's midnight in Chelsea, midnight in Chelsea
No one's asking me for favors
No one's looking for a savoir
They're too busy saving me
I've seen a lone,sloane ranger drive
seems her chauffeur took a dive
And sold her secrets to the sun
And later in a magazine
I finally figured what it means
To be a saint, not a queen
Two lustful lovers catch a spark
And chase their shadows in the dark
Someone's getting off tonight
Of a big red bus that's packed so tight
It disappears in a trail of light
Somewhere someone's dreaming baby it's all right...
It's midnight in Chelsea, midnight in Chelsea
No one's asking me for favors
No one's looking for a savoir
They're too busy saving me
Midnight in Chelsea, midnight in Chelsea
No one's pinned dreams on me
No one's asking me to bleed
I'm the man I want to be
When Chelsea girls sing...
It's morning when I go to sleep
In the distant dawn a church bell rings
Another day is coming on
A baby's born, an old man dies
Somewhere young lovers kiss good-bye
I leave my soul and just move on
And wish that I was there to sing this song
It's midnight in Chelsea, midnight in Chelsea
No one's asking me for favors
No one's looking for a savoir
They're too busy saving me
It's midnight in Chelsea, midnight in Chelsea
No one's pinned dreams on me
No one's asking me to bleed
I'm the man I want to be
The man I want to be,the man I want to be
Midnight in Chelsea
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
log 0250hrs: have ceased to think
have recessed to mindless activity and e occasional inconsequential ponderment upon certain practical matters and affairs that require more than just airy wisps of thought.........
have fallen in love w a musical......... ***again***............
realised that watching musicals a second time is more enjoyable.......... least for me...................
goodbye chicago, hello moulin rouge
absolutely
love adore worship obssessed with taken by absorbed overpowered by ewan mcgregor's voice......... especially when he bursts into song with a resounding diaphragm supported note............. captivating...............
i wanna marry ewan mcgregor (in character, singing)
forget sex; courtship; flowers; kisses; love.........
just give me a cut-out and a stereo............... and i'll give u a happy girl................
beauty freedom truth love
i believe in those.............. does that make me a true blue bohemian-wannabe?
nope
does that make me an arty person?
nope
does that mean i'm a sap?
nope
it just means i'm an idealistic blob who's blinded by her own fantasies and doesn't recognise e world as it is................... sad sad sad............... ***clink*** to e saps...........
log 0314hrs: told u she's ceased to think and recessed to e airy depths of fantasy.............
log 0315hrs: it's easier to sit back and let thoughts occur rather than to search for em in e endless abyss of frontal lobes and grey mass................. or is that what we term laziness? dunno..... too lazy to say for sure............ let e thin fuzzy line that separates em stay thin and fuzzy.............. life's easier that way..................... where evrything's anything and anything's anything.............
log 0318hrs: and just when u thought u mattered..........
u don't
log 0319hrs: things change......... people change........... situations change................. affections change.............. minds change.............. people change............... attitudes change................. mindsets change..................... reactions change.................... feelings change..................... views change........................ bias inclination..................... towards.......... away............... from.
log 0322hrs: we change
log 0322hrs: cliches remain
log 0323hrs: forever is a lie. feelings lie. people lie. situations lie. even lies lie.
we lie. we are a lie. we are the lie.
log 0325hrs: funny how a funny curly thing like 'f' can distinguish e difference between a lie and life............. but then again............... maybe they're pretty much e same..............
log 0328hrs: tired................. signing off to e reality of sleep.................. or to e lull of reality............. or to e outlet of escapism from reality.............. or e reality in our escapism................ sometimes all we are is a lie........ how we live is a lie........ what we live in is a lie..............
log 0335hrs: poker faced
Thursday, July 03, 2003
meet ASTRO!~
he's a REALLY whiny dog!!~ eheheh......... just place ur hand over his furry paw and hold it in place so he can't move and he'll start whining!!!~ ehehhe.......... continue holding it down (without hurting him of course) and he'll start yelping!!~! he's such a loveable pup!!~!!~ only 4 months old!~ w scraggly hair....... but it makes him all e more cuter........ a maltese westhighlander...... hunting dog.......pure white~! but he steps all over ur face and hair when u're sleeping and he simply lovvvvesssssssss licking pppl!!~! i miss him already....... sigh.......
here's roy
he's so fat........ that when he fights w other dogs he just sits on em....... eheheh........... and when he walks he can just trot happily along and suddenly plop down on his stomach with his legs sticking out, like an animal rug....... ehehe........ so cute~! and he's got
lovely fur! it's really thick and soft and it's a beautiful shade of malt brown with a touch of white on his nose, head, tip of tail, and four paws......... but his face looks really like a hamburger........ ehehe.......... and he's a really naughty dog......... he'll deliberately shit and piss in ur face and step all over it just to spite u if he feels neglected......... what a gem eh?
and here r e two of em, sitting together just after they've been taught a lesson for chewing e rubbish at home while we;re out........ tsktsktsk.......... u gotta b harsh to discipline ur dog man.......... and it really hurts us more than it hurts em......... their hide is SO thick!!~! especially roy's!!~! my hand hurt like hell after slapping his ass!!~! but they look really adorable don't they? don't u wish all children wld b just like em? ehehe...........
and now we see a lil family portrait......... e lil cuddlies r just so adorable......... sigh.........
enough of boring ppl!!~!~ let's see some breath-taking scenery!!!~! melbourne is a
beautiful place........ great fresh air........ wonderful landscape......... ahhhh....... what more to ask for? perfect for relaxation and losing of all e urban problems.........
beautiful lush greens....... if u look
really hard u might see some white sheep on e hills......... ehehe........
almost like postcards aren't they? picture perfect...........
just a lil sneak peek at cezzane......... our new inherited doggie....... wonderfully grouchy dog who growls whenever u pat his ass or start humming some circus tune or squeeze........
especially at night........ ehehe........ weird guy........
he's cute ain't he? looks just like a cow.......... what w those black and white patches of his....... eheheh
see e similarities?
see e greater similarities??
AHHAhAHaha!!!~!!~!
he's looking really stressed and constipated now cuz he's afraid of e crazy cow...... eheheh ***hannah wld know y......... e cow's mad....... it's totally our of control......... eheheh*** he looks as if he wants to get as far away from e lil battery operated stuffed thing which looks almost exactly like him...... am holding his chin to prevent him from zooting away!~
oh sigh....... i miss melbourne........... e big shot trams............. e funky seats that face each other.......... e ever-present graffiti......... e refreshing cool/cold weather.......... e chilly winds............ e puffy breaths early in e morning and at night........... e cold tiles.......... e trashy tv.......... early morning jerry springer........... late night gay drama shows and more-than-real reality shows......... a whole stretch of road dedicated to italian cuisine........... italian 'gelati' that wld give hagen daz and yami yoghurt a run for their money......... chinatown........... e cannot-make-system of paying for ur public transport......... e already-dark skies at 6pm.............. e refreshing delicious smoothie 'boost' that tastes just like ice cream thru a straw that still has long queues despite winter.............. e superbly confusing road system.............. e beaten cars on e road.......... e crazy parking fees.......... e laid-back lifestyle.............. e friendliness and open frankness of e ppl............ e walks thru e city............ what i miss most of all is e company i have there.............
