The current mood of dyseluxon@hotmail.com at www.imood.com

 
The Big Bag of Random Stuff
 

 
We weren't born with a name, we were given a name. A hedgehog doesn't have a name. It's just a nameless thing with a handful of flesh and skin and a beating heart. A hedgehog doesn't even know it doesn't have a name.
 
 
   
 
Saturday, May 24, 2003
 
Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
‘Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns!’ he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

‘Forward, the Light Brigade!’
Was there a man dismay’d?
Not tho’ the soldier knew
Some one had blunder’d:
Their’s not to make reply,
Their’s not to reason why,
Their’s but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley’d and thunder’d;
Storm’d at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.

Flash’d all their sabres bare,
Flash’d as they turn’d in air
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wonder’d:
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro’ the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reel’d from the sabre-stroke
Shatter’d and sunder’d.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley’d and thunder’d;
Storm’d at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro’ the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wonder’d.
Honour the charge they made!
Honour the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred!

1855
The Charge of the Light Brigade


it makes u wonder............. was that true braverey? or total stupidity? a person watchin from above commented on it's splendour....... another on it's miraculous stupidity....... it's sad when it something so massive and real can actually be catagorized on two total separate ends of the spectrum........ stupidity and bravery.......... how can the two ever be reconciled? i think it's poignantly beautifully sad that six hundred men can totally whole-heartedly plunge headlong into something they know so obviouslt as a deathtrap, yet go on with it........... it's not stupidity..... least not to me............. it's fighting for what u believe in............... making a difference................ fool-hardy? call it what they might........... war certainly brings out the beauty and frailty of mankind doesn't it? that something so cruel and merciless and cold can actually bring out the best in man.......... albeit through their sacrifice........... Like mushrooms........... it's like looking down the tunnel and it seems as if u're looking at it from a hundred years later, and everything's still the same...............
after i graduate and take my exams and get my results back and apply for uni.............. do i truly only begin to fathom and understand the lessons and meanings behind what they try so desperately to cram into your frail tender minds in that brief one and half years............. when you have your whole life ahead of you to lather in it and appreciate it.............. why do we even try so hard? such that we lose the basic meanings and lessons behind all that we do?

Wednesday, May 21, 2003
 
u know u're obsessed when u find yourself looking out for a certain something 24/7...........
when it's e red light and u're looking to see if u spot someone u know in e pedestrains crossing e road...............
when almost evrything conjures up a notion in relation..............
when u hardly know what u're looing for but u're consistently looking for it anyway.................
when u know that whatever u're looking for probably exists only in ur mind..........
when u can't draw a firm concrete conclusion to what u have.............
when all u have are a series of images drawn from air............
when u picture a 'happily ever after' scenario for yourself and u know that's not possible.............
...... cuz there isn't a fairy tale to begin with in e first place..............
when u can't let go....... of nothing.........
when u find yourself rambling on and on about evrything and nothing in particular...........
..... that's when u know u're obsessed............

images............
conjuring up images of never-have-been and never-will-be scenarios..........
wishing.... desperately and hopelessly................
pretending..........
in that miniscule world that's so frail and transparent.............
creating something from nothing............ it's almost an art in itself..............
escapism.......... escaping from nothing............ into something...........
the desperate need for that one thing............
the one thing that could make or break you................... which u don't even know how it works and ticks..............
naivety............
enthusiasm............
inexperience.............
all rolled up into a great ball of........... nothing.........

illusions
delusions
manipulations
creations
fascination

disillusioned.

Sunday, May 18, 2003
 
life is not a bed of roses
the course of true love never did run smooth
shit happens


blahblah......... cliches........... they all are........... but soemtimes when u set out to do something and it seems as if obstacle after obstacle keep presenting thenselvers in your face.............. just when u tihnk evrything's hunky-dory and u're in a state of utopia, wham! it hits u right smack in your face........ something staring at u all ablong but u never did notice................. fantastic............ it renders u almost back to square one...................... almost............. but not quite............

and i'm not tired, no............ i'm prepared to keep on fighting.......... i'm filled with faith.......... confidence.......... almost overflowing, matter-of-fact.............. can't say it's a bad thing............ but neither is it good............... pride comes before a fall........... but we gotta go about doing our stuff with confidence don't we? it's e confidence u exude that convinces people that it's worth investing in you.......................... but outside influences happen............... and these are things u hace absolutely ground-zero control over...............

i'm not saying i'm giving up, no........... neither am i succumbing to the unpredictable.............. but after overcoming 80% of your odds and things start to look great........ something comes along and just totally almost severs that thread u're hanging by................. it's almost killing.............. i'm not losing hope.............. i do think i'm too optimistic......... blind faith, i'd call it.............. over-confidence? maybe.............. naivety, definitely................... greenhorn, no doubt.......... but whatever......... i'm prepared to face it head on............ and whether or not i'm charging fullspeed w no leash or saftely harness and plummeting headlong into a pitchblack abyss, bring it on............. evrything's already laid out for me and i see no alternatives around it................ i'm meeting it head-on.............. God speed.

Thursday, May 15, 2003
 

that innocence... the radiance... the purity of life's essence.......... can we ever regain that?
captured in a moment so ephemeral we probably cease to remember that split moment it ever happened............. how many shots out of a hundred can we actually manage to capture something so wonderfully perfect yet incomplete?
the fading lines.... the blurred images.......... all reflect on the surrealistic nature of it's perfection that it makes one wonder at it's existence.......... it looks like somethinhg taken out of a lousy 70's flick where they still ran on film strips with battered quality............. so old... yet so new and revived.........
simply breathtaking
 
Presenting...........









evryone............... meet kelly...........

kelly is a midnight blue Saab 9-3 Convertible with Engine 2.0t (150bhp)
(somehow kelly's wheels can't appear on e pic itself........... but just use ur imagination yeah? she's a beauty)

kelly has
Electrically operated windows
Electrically operated door mirrors
Air conditioning (AC)
Tinted glass
Switch for simultaneous operation of all windows
Electro-hydraulically operated top
"Follow-me-home"-function
Electrically adjustable fronts seats, driver's with memory
Cabin air filter, electrostatic
Handsfree preparation for mobile phone
Electric antenna
Audio remote control on steering wheel
Audiosystem (AS2), CD, 80W, 4 speakers
PRE-AS2
Automatic 4-speed transmission
EBD Electronic Brake-force Distribution
Immobolizer
Head/torso side airbags, front
Headlight elevation control on facia
Seatbelt pre-tensioners, front
Passenger's airbag, front
Locking remote control
Rear glass window with electric defroster
Isofix rearchild seat anchorage points
Saab Active Head Restraints (SAHR), front seats
Load-shifting protection in the rear seat
Driver's airbag
ABS Anti-lock Braking System
Headlamp wash/wipe
Information display (SID 1) with multi-function
Electro-hydraulically operated top
Ashtray and Lighter
Cruise control
Rear seat foldable and lockable
Flexible luggage compartment
Night Panel function
Double dividable sun visors with illuminated mirrors
Bright finish sports exhaust tailpipe
CD Autochanger, 6 discs
Sport Chassis
Automatic Climate Control (ACC)
Saab Anti-theft Protection alarm
Carbon fibre facia
Traction control system
Mid Size Spare Wheel
Body coloured rear spoiler
Aero sport package
Anniversary leather upholstery and door panels
Antracite-grey facia
Wind deflector
Sport exhaust
Carbon fibre gear selector
Carbon fibre gear lever knob
Teflon finish fascia

and she
is in a beautiful shade of midnight blue
has a fully automatic top cover
which is in blue
in decked in leather Aero upholstery and door panels, charcoal/blue
has light walnut wood veneer fascia
along with leather steering wheel and gear lever
and also matt chrome door handles
not forgetting textile floor mats
with 5-spoke 17x7" for wheels
complete with Cup holder too

i think i'm in love..............

Monday, May 12, 2003
 
the bittersweet feeling lingering after the last show
the rush before and after that last show
the gradual bonding that takes place unwittingly
the mutual trust that grows
getting to know each other..............
................ and realising that actually u don't..........
doing things u don't want to............
............... but thanking that at least u aren't alone.............
spending hours together........
........ doing nothing...........
........ making something..........
......... creating anything............
before that very last show, feeling your pulse. racing,
adrenaline,
excitement,
anticipation,
that teeny hint of dread............
loving that after this u can go home before the sun sets
yet know that u'll feel strangely incomplete..........
............. as if a part of u has died,
ended,
gone
liberation mingled with reminiscence
knowing that that brief 70minutes lies in your hands,
and e show is yours
trusting that when u fall, someone will hold u up
that after a month of spending evryday together u grow towards e same goal..........
growing towards each other.........
.............. without knowing each other in e first place..........
the satisfaction holding up against the sacrifices

knowing that at e end of the day,
evrything was worth it,
and you would come back and do this again

bittersweet

it's time to bump-out and move on


Sunday, May 11, 2003
 
Aquarius
AQUARIUS: Either you are one, or you should be.


What Western Zodiac Star Sign Should You Be? (with images!)
brought to you by Quizilla

cool!!!~!~!
it's pretty accutate!!!~!!!!~ ***so far......***
 
***hic***

Thursday, May 08, 2003
 
choices.................... expectations............................................................................ sacrifices............................................. dilemma................................................................................ obligations............................................................................................. gratification.....................stuck......................................... promises..........................................................................................................................

what does one do when caught in e middle with no way out, no way around.....................

Saturday, May 03, 2003
 
   
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