i'm sure right now many gals wish they were in my shoes.............. least for that one evening............ either that, or i'd have an anti-fan club now........ ehehhe.......... but well......... it's amazing how ppl need to idolize someone................ how they yearn for someone so desperately u wonder what actually makes their bodily functions tick........... they express the insurmountable need to b near that someone; to touch that person; to hold him............... yet what they time does come, and they get all that they ever wished for, and more............. they realise that that someone's not what they want........................ they want someone perfect to behold before their eyes.......... they wanna believe that a perfect being exists............ hence the incessant idolatry whereby they hanker after something that's completely untouchable and unreachable..............

mayb i'm like that too................. the notion no one is perfect is a fact taken for granted by me............ i relish in my land of finding that someone who's perfect........... and when i do see their faults............... i slink away like a fox put to shame............. i shy away like a boxer that just lost his first match since he started boxing eons ago......... i recoil even at the notion of mere contact........................... am i that lost? am i just as artificial? am i just as deluded? perhas that's just what i am.......... disillusioned..............

but what if................. the world that we set out to sought after was not what we had in mind? the brilliant incipience overcast by the artificiality and facades of others......... what then? when all you strived for has crumbled in a mass of rubble at your feet............. is there anything else u can live for? when u realise that all u've built up upon is gone?