post-christmas
was just in town yesterday and as i looked around, i saw 'Post-Christmas' sales everywhere............ and people wereflocking to them like bees to honey.. or rather, flies to rubbish........... it's appalling to note that on the day after christmas, it's already deemed as 'post-christmas'......... whatever happened to the 12 days of christmas? it's kinda shocking isn't it? when you realise christmas isn't measured by the love and joy of the season, but rather, by the amount of things you bought at lower-than-usual prices............ i think what most people look forward to most bout christmas nowadays is the presents they're receiving, the parties and boozing, the sales and 'value buys'................ it's kinda degrading if you look at it in a certain light.............. whatever happened to Christ's present to us? of relieving us of our sins? the greatest gift ever we could ever receive, Jesus Christ's birth? who seems to mention that anymore? and 'Merry Christmas' is just an empty verse repeated to everyone you see just to 'wish' them a merry christmas....... there's no soul and intent behind those words, just blank emotionless void words.......... even the christmas lights don't serve to bring out the meaning of christmas....... they show pretty angels, shiny bright sparkling lights, powerpuff girls......... animals.......... what happened to Jesus in his manger? something seems to have morphed in an ugly way and taken over christmas............ even santa claus is becoming the insignia of christmas.............. he's taking over the glory of Jesus, and is placed in such high regard, whereas Jesus is forgotten............. like how Chinese New Year is all about receiving red packets and nothing about the visiting of relatives........... you visit relatives to receive those money packs, not to see if they're okie............... is this the new 'wave of the future'? emotionless valueless people walking around under false pretences? it is fast becoming like that isn't it?

Peace,........ and Fear
went to a christmas concert on christmas day itself, and frankly, the drama put up by it wasn't exactly spectacular, so to speak......... but i came to realise that we should not, and cannot judge other people by our own standards, because it's unfair to them......... just cause i'm from tsd and have been blessed with the knowledge of theatre doesn't mean i can use my knowledge to judge other people........ what we have in common, is our dedication to what we set out to do, and we give it our all, our best shot, and that's what brings us on even ground...........
i was surprised at how many people remembered my name......... when all i could remember was their faces.......... it just goes to show how much effort i put in trying to remember people when i meet them doesn't it? this greater-than-thou attitude....... just cause i tihnk i'm cooler, more popular, more spunky, blahblah........ this shallowness is going to come at the expense of spiritual and intellectual development......... one which i'm not even sure i have any to start with.............. just cause others don't share my experience and way of thought and humour doesn't mean they're any less gifted than i am..........
the sermon given was a really relevent on, least to me......... i felt i could so totally relate to it.......... it was bout fear, death, and finding peace amidst such chaotic times as this............ the speaker said that once we're found Christ and have Him in our lives, we've found peace in Him and don't fear death or all the chaos happening round us, the bombings, the uncertainty of the times and even natural disasters as earthquakes............. i find that i don't fear such things.......... if death looks me in the face, i really would face him fearless, i don't fear dying, or war...... neither do i fear Christ's second coming........ in fact, i look forward to it............ but the thing is, i honestly don't think i'm that strong spiritually, to have the foundation and base for me to stand fearless............ so this fearlessness, is it just a part of my own character, plain ignorance, or hidden arrogance? cuz i really don't think it stems from my spirituality and faith in Christ............ least i don't think i know.................... it's a kinda semi-self-destructive mannerism...... if i destruct, i'm just gonna leave me to self-destruct....... and that's that....... no worries, no qualms, no quarrels......... i kinda take it for granted that i'm just gonna be saved and redeemed even though i don't think i deserve it, and haven't done a thing to deserve it, and don't seem to have the strength to do something to make me deserve it.............. as they say, the sea may look calm and peaceful, but we all know the undercurrents runnng below it are strong enough to pull a man down.............
albert once said i have a strong character, now i just think i'm weak............ least i'm weak spiritually............ and what good's a strong character when ultimately it's your spirituality that matters?
a strong character coupled by an indecisive mind............. it's kinda ironic isn't it? but isn't that one of the characteristics of mankind? this paradoxical nature and dichotomies in character?