Life's Ironies
it seems when you're crazily obsessed with someone that person couldn't give two hoots about you, and seemingly didn't even know bout your existence......... much less get your name right...............
then when you're finally over that person, well........ least you ain't the crazily obsessed self-professed drooling idiot over him anymore, he finally noties you and comes over and you actually have a nice conversation filled with laughs.................
just when you think you're on cloud nine, getting pumped up back to crazy obsession, you realise he has a girlfriend.......... ouch.............
such is life isn't it? how it lifts you up only to let you come crashing down............. but nevermind.......... we should have been smart enough by now to let that fact sink into our puny denial minds, just that we're too caught up with wonderland and thoughts of smiley rabbits in pyjamas.........
if trees could think.......
if trees could think, wouldn't they be so completely totally bored out of their minds? standing on their roots all day, 24/7.............. well........... i'd say it's the same as us looking back on neanderthals and saying they were stupid and technologically inadvanced........... we're all on different planes, there's no room for comparison is there?
we don't wonder at why and how birds can fly and we can't, it's a given fact.......... it's all parts of the gigantic collosal clockwork of life that clicks together so wonderously.......
thought of the moment
i wanna know what goes on in the mind of antonin artaud......... or bertol bretcht........
to think, or not to think?
fong says, he doesn't like to think too much............ it messes up the mind, and makes you a confused messed up person who doesn't know what you want and what's right and wrong......... but he said a long time ago that it's bad to stone, for the mind just stagnates, and it speeds up dementia........... so isn't there a contradiction already at work? doesn't like to think, but doesn't wanna stop thinking......... a balance has got to be struck.................
but stagnation is addictive........... so's thinking............. the more you slack, the more you get lulled into the mental inertia quicksand, and soon you find yourself stuck in a rut, with a non-working brain........... yet the more you think and question, more questions emerge and you realise you have an infitiny of question pouring into your head, with no answers........ you then become a walking confusion, debating on whether jay-walking is right or wrong.................. it's a catch22 situation isn't it? which came first, the chicken or the egg?
had a really fun time on the road today, despite being pulled over by the traffic police, who wanted to check my pdl and my instructor's driving license, ic, and instructor license............ i swear s'pore's becoming paranoia-land............. there were traffic policemen in tampines, and back at kampung ubi, we saw another 4 other traffic policemen........... honestly, which moron would learn driving without a pdl? which idiot would teach driving without a qualified license? we're really producing elites in this country eh? real efficient and smart thinking individuals who're gonna make up the future generation of singapore and lead her on ahead in the competitive world..........
and once again, i'm back on planet earth, settling into the comfort of life and inactivity, worming my way through life as a slug, jobless and aimless....... for e next 7 months at least............
should i at least get a 9-to-5 job? something stable? with shifts? or something one-off? there's no hard and fast way about this, yet i realise the hard and fast way's what i'm searching for............... so do i compromise myself? or do i continue my lofty aspiration and hope that lady luck shines on me?
