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Sunday, December 29, 2002
Thought Of The Day
can dogs trip like humans do?
pardon me, but i have tried gazillions unsuccessful times to try and trip my dog but it just doesn't work............ he either just walks over it casualy or knocks into it and clumbers over it.............. so even if he does knock into it and that particular leg gets out of sync with the rest and that particular limb loses its balance, he's still got three other legs to balance on right? unlike humans who can't balance on one leg, they can balance on three........ else there'd be streets and back alleys littered with falling dogs...... that'll be a laugh......... ***conjures up image in mind and can't stop laughing and hooting*** ................ so i have concluded that dogs, giraffes, and other four-legged animals cannot trip........ and fall........ unless they're dying lah....... cuz in that case, anyone or anything will fall regardless of whether they're tripped or not... they just do...............
speaking of dogs............... my dog was just trying to swallow my lil bro's pet turtles............. ***evil laugh***
and speaking of lil bros........... i'm supposed to watch lord of e rings w my lil bro tomoro....... ***evil look***
and speaking of lord of e ........................... ***shut up daphne***
sorry, she tends to like to engage in lil monologues of these sorts when the earth doesn't spin on its usual axis....... oh don't let the quiet rotation and fact that we can't feel the earth spin fool you........... it actually does.... oooooohhh..............
anyway, away from daphne's alter ego, who was at kerri's place yesterday and conversing with kerri's headphones, microphone and unplugged telephone, daphne has TWO NEW CHARMING TURTLES!!~!~! i don't care what they say, they're turtles, not terrapins...... least that's what they are to me......... no accepting any arguments on that.......... they're really cute and adorable and endearing and fascinating and smart and energetic and enthusiastic and small......... climbing everywhere (well...... they attempt to climb everywhere) which makes them all the more cute and adorable and endearing and fascinating and .....................
so e current standing is 1daphne, 3turtles......... with a lil bro who got himself two turtles too, trying to emulate daphne and wanting to trade one of e turtles with daphne but daphne adamently refused cuz she liked that lil turtle very much as she had her eyes on him every sinec she saw him and i think this is getting to sound pretty freaky and perverse so daphne shall shut up .
and daphne has a henna butterfly tattoo on her left ankle........ but it's kinda too large......... AHHAhaH~!!~!~................ ANYWAY.......... moving on...........
an excerpt from the conversation (with kerri's headphones, microphone and unplugged phone)
daphne: mike test, test one, test two, HEllo!!~!~!
microphone: (wire sags)
headphones: ***static from wire sagging***
daphne( wearing e heaphones): ouch!
unplugged phone: .........
daphne: HELLO!!!~!
silence
daphne:HELLO!!!~!
silence continues after being broken
now i finally understand how kids feel when they're playing masak-masak and with barbie dolls and evrything............... making one stuffed bear talk to the stuffed giraffe......... except in my case the bear was the microphone and the giraffe was the phone....... kerri can vouch for me.......... she witnessed the whole 'reliving' of fun......... kids have the most fun man i swear...............
anyway!~~!
just realised 'place' is just one letter short of 'palace'......... interesting isn't it? how a palace is place itself, except that a 'palace' is a 'place' with something more, one more alphabet, and also with more royalty and grandeur................ langauge is really fascinating isn't it?
anyway, i realise my mental activity nowadays is really getting limp........ i'm not thinking......... and i'm lazy to.......... cuz i dun wanna activate it..... cuz i want something to comg along and set it off but nothing's coming along and i'm lazy toi look for a catalyst myself........... so i'm just gonna rot and die and melt and deface............ see....... i dun even make sense anymore.... not that i ever did, taking into consideration headphones, microphone and unplugged phone.......... and guess what??
a line just popped off e top of my head...... eheheh "i'm crum"............ guess why that came up in the firstn place? it's e 64-million dollar question....... any takers? well...... it's cuz i was trying to rhyme............. AHHAhah!~~~!!
some poet i am eh? ehehehe
rub-a-dub-duck!~
Friday, December 27, 2002
post-christmas
was just in town yesterday and as i looked around, i saw 'Post-Christmas' sales everywhere............ and people wereflocking to them like bees to honey.. or rather, flies to rubbish........... it's appalling to note that on the day after christmas, it's already deemed as 'post-christmas'......... whatever happened to the 12 days of christmas? it's kinda shocking isn't it? when you realise christmas isn't measured by the love and joy of the season, but rather, by the amount of things you bought at lower-than-usual prices............ i think what most people look forward to most bout christmas nowadays is the presents they're receiving, the parties and boozing, the sales and 'value buys'................ it's kinda degrading if you look at it in a certain light.............. whatever happened to Christ's present to us? of relieving us of our sins? the greatest gift ever we could ever receive, Jesus Christ's birth? who seems to mention that anymore? and 'Merry Christmas' is just an empty verse repeated to everyone you see just to 'wish' them a merry christmas....... there's no soul and intent behind those words, just blank emotionless void words.......... even the christmas lights don't serve to bring out the meaning of christmas....... they show pretty angels, shiny bright sparkling lights, powerpuff girls......... animals.......... what happened to Jesus in his manger? something seems to have morphed in an ugly way and taken over christmas............ even santa claus is becoming the insignia of christmas.............. he's taking over the glory of Jesus, and is placed in such high regard, whereas Jesus is forgotten............. like how Chinese New Year is all about receiving red packets and nothing about the visiting of relatives........... you visit relatives to receive those money packs, not to see if they're okie............... is this the new 'wave of the future'? emotionless valueless people walking around under false pretences? it is fast becoming like that isn't it?
Peace,........ and Fear
went to a christmas concert on christmas day itself, and frankly, the drama put up by it wasn't exactly spectacular, so to speak......... but i came to realise that we should not, and cannot judge other people by our own standards, because it's unfair to them......... just cause i'm from tsd and have been blessed with the knowledge of theatre doesn't mean i can use my knowledge to judge other people........ what we have in common, is our dedication to what we set out to do, and we give it our all, our best shot, and that's what brings us on even ground...........
i was surprised at how many people remembered my name......... when all i could remember was their faces.......... it just goes to show how much effort i put in trying to remember people when i meet them doesn't it? this greater-than-thou attitude....... just cause i tihnk i'm cooler, more popular, more spunky, blahblah........ this shallowness is going to come at the expense of spiritual and intellectual development......... one which i'm not even sure i have any to start with.............. just cause others don't share my experience and way of thought and humour doesn't mean they're any less gifted than i am..........
the sermon given was a really relevent on, least to me......... i felt i could so totally relate to it.......... it was bout fear, death, and finding peace amidst such chaotic times as this............ the speaker said that once we're found Christ and have Him in our lives, we've found peace in Him and don't fear death or all the chaos happening round us, the bombings, the uncertainty of the times and even natural disasters as earthquakes............. i find that i don't fear such things.......... if death looks me in the face, i really would face him fearless, i don't fear dying, or war...... neither do i fear Christ's second coming........ in fact, i look forward to it............ but the thing is, i honestly don't think i'm that strong spiritually, to have the foundation and base for me to stand fearless............ so this fearlessness, is it just a part of my own character, plain ignorance, or hidden arrogance? cuz i really don't think it stems from my spirituality and faith in Christ............ least i don't think i know.................... it's a kinda semi-self-destructive mannerism...... if i destruct, i'm just gonna leave me to self-destruct....... and that's that....... no worries, no qualms, no quarrels......... i kinda take it for granted that i'm just gonna be saved and redeemed even though i don't think i deserve it, and haven't done a thing to deserve it, and don't seem to have the strength to do something to make me deserve it.............. as they say, the sea may look calm and peaceful, but we all know the undercurrents runnng below it are strong enough to pull a man down.............
albert once said i have a strong character, now i just think i'm weak............ least i'm weak spiritually............ and what good's a strong character when ultimately it's your spirituality that matters?
a strong character coupled by an indecisive mind............. it's kinda ironic isn't it? but isn't that one of the characteristics of mankind? this paradoxical nature and dichotomies in character?
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
they don't know what it's like.............
to dong and kerri.......... ***gringrin***
There's a light
A certain kind of light
That never shone on me
I want my life to lived with you
Lived with you
There's a way everybody say
To do each and every little thing
But what does it bring
If I ain't got you, ain't got ?
You don't know what it's like, baby
You don't know what it's like
To love somebody
To love somebody
The way I love you
There's brain
I see your face again
I know my frame of mind
You ain't got to be so blind
And I'm blind, so very blind
I'm a man, can't you see
What I am
I live and breathe for you
But what good does it do
If I ain't got you, ain't got ?
You don't know what it's like, baby
You don't know what it's like
To love somebody
To love somebody
The way I love you
that's pathetic!
You don't know what it's like, baby
You don't know what it's like
To love somebody
To love somebody
The way I love you
***secret grin*** oh yeah............. they don't know......... we do know what it's like................. ***winkwink***
tis the season to be jolly
hmmm........ i wodner if it's just me, but i seem to have a knack for screwing myself up.............. guess what happened again? i kinda washed my right contact lens down e sink....... yeap...... again.............. this e fourth one to go this year........... the clincher? it's new.......... like two weeks new.............. i hate my life man.......... eheheh
now i'm wearing the old one.......... the one which looks yellow and lembek and i changed to a new one because of it cuz i thought if i wore it anymore my eye would start to turn yellow and get jaundice too if it were possible........... eheheh......... well.......... we'll see if that prevails............. vanity's a killer eh?
well.......... had a wonderful christmas eve.......... spent it at gladys' place........... 9 straight hrs of movies back to back............ talk about stiupid inane spastic retarded movies............ if you guys thought I was retarded............... think again..................
shaking hands is always the best way to solve any problem....... unless, of course, the other person has a stump....... then it can be pretty awkward..........
WHAT NONSENSE?!~?!~?!?
eheheh............ loved that line................. damn funny.......... eheheh.............. in case you're looking for a really mindless movie.......... try 'high school high'........ ehehhe............ or 'the animal 2, rob schneider as the hot chick'......... daphnelim fell asleep halfway and when she woke up, she could still follow the story with no problem...... just goes to show how much of a plot it's got eh? ehehehe.............
anyhow.......... here's wishing everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!~!!!~!!~
have a joyous great day and God bless!!!~! cheerios!!~!~!
blubberblubberblubber
aww.......... ***frownfrowngroangroanwhinewhinelamentlament***
gonna face e music frm e parents bout e contact lenses.............
***takes deep breath to brace herself***
Monday, December 23, 2002
i received a promotional not-for-sale dvd, containing 5 mtvs of matchboxtwenty, and of course i was ecstatic.......... while watching the, i couldn't stop grinning........ normal people sit on the sofa.......... i was squatting on it, apparently i was too pumped up with adrenaline to sit properly............. i was grinning myself silly over the mtvs, the fantastic direction and themes exploring life, and i could distinctly trace of the differences in their songs from the first album and the second album............ and while i was watching 'bent', i dunno why, but i started tearing........ probably from the despair in the video............. 'can you help me, i'm bent...... i'm so scared that i'll never get put back together'........ i could so totally relate to the song....... and when it came to 'if you're gone', i was even closer to crying........... 'there's an awful lot of breathing room and i can heardly move'......... it's very reflective of our own life don't you think? how now we've got like 7 months to ourselves and all the time in the world to do whatever we wanna do, yet we don't really engage in anything constructive do we? least i know i don't....... so much time and yet we're wasting it on bumming, enjoying life, not attempting to make a difference.......... i almost feel ashamed of myself............ indulged in selfishness and hedonism........... when it came to the part where rob thomas, kyle cook and adam gaynor were all in a line, each with a microphone stand and crooning into their mics, with the camera at an angle such that it seemed that the three of them were in descending order, i dunno why, but that simple scene struck a chord in me........... i marvelled at how beautiful the simple scene was, even though it was nothing as compared to the rest of the video............. there was simple strikingly vulnerable and bare in that simple shot, and i recognized the beauty in it's orderliness, and the quiet unspoken harmony in them...........
'push' started and ended with rob thomas holding onto a puppet, complete with strings and limp limbs.......... simplistic yet its message was clear......... and i realise, i miss the good old days......... i miss being young and bogged down with work and not having to worry bout what i wanna do the next month, year, even 5 years, cuz i know that everything's been planned out perfectly for me.......... no worries, no tough decisions to make, no failures, total guaranteed completely lit path............. and i was complaining bout it................ funny how we only see the light when we're out of it............. but i'm not regretting or wishing myself back........... i'm looking back in fond remembrance and recognition, in learning and enlightenment............... life is about learning, and i wanna learn what i can, and think on what i've learnt.......... for there is no failure of lesson is there? only when we fail to learn do we really fail..............
Quote of the Day
No one is completely worthless, they can always serve as a bad example......
that's pretty true isn't it, when you think bout it............ right now, i just wanna sit back and give myself a mental holiday, not in a sense where i zone out and go blank, but where i open my mind to all possible aspects of life and explore what we take for granted.......... there's so much to explore, and we dunno where to start........ it's often not a problem of what we wanna say, but how......... often there's so much to say we dunno where to start, but once we get the ball rolling, it's easy as pie isn't it? and the more we try to refrain our thoughts and pin it down to one thing, the more we feel we're getting stuck............ ironic ah? it's funny how the mind works.......
Reality vs Illusion
I think, therefore i am. - Descartes
Saturday, December 21, 2002
swiped this off someone's blog.... i think it's really hilarious........... e guy's really sarcastic and witty......... have a read and laugh......... ***gringrin***
Behaviour In The Elevator - A Comprehensive Analysis
Eye Contact - When initially entering the confines of the elevator environment it is your job to place yourself in the most innocuous position available in said elevator. Do not make eye contact with any of the other passengers. If you have trouble deciding where to focus your vision try examining your surroundings. Your shoes for example, when was the last time you took a good look at your shoes? The elevator is a perfect time for this careful reflection. The ceiling or the floor tiles are also good areas for meticulous observation. My favourite is the legal document that is bolted to the wall of the elevator. "Elevator can safely hold 12 passengers. Lets see...one...two...three...all right we're in good shape. No problem reaching my destination. I feel the warm glow of safety washing over me...ahhh...feels pretty good."
Holding The Door - I would like to think we're all civilized human beings, but sometimes I question the road humanity is traveling towards on the rare occasion I'm racing to catch the elevator. I can't count the amount of times I've been mere steps from the closing doors, catching the cold dead eyes of the single passenger who can't make the Herculean effort of pushing the evasive "door open" button. How much time are we saving by not showing a little politeness and being gracious enough to let a wayward passenger access to the upper floors? Let love rule people, let love rule.
Conversation - Unless you have a direct relationship with the other passenger, no conversation should ever take place. No "Hey nice weather we're havin'" or "Have you been following the efforts of our local sports franchise? Man do they suck." It is a fruitless effort. The conversation can only result in conversation tangent that will be lost for the ages.
"Thank God it's Friday."
"Oh tell me about it, my girlfriends and I are going to drink a lot of wine, get some massage oil and...oh here's my floor...have a good weekend!"
"Wait come back! I need closure! Please...come...back..."
Love In An Elevator - Passion is a mistress that cannot be denied. I can't count the number of times I've traveled the many floors to my luxurious penthouse apartment with a lovely lady by my side. The elevator is empty except for myself and my woman. The muzak is playing a romantic little ditty, I look into her eyes and my romantic stirrings cannot be contained. A passionate embrace is inevitable as well as various other carnal advances begin to take place. But it should be noted; you can only go so far. Remember your destination. You are heading to a place where all your dreams of romantic conquest can be comfortably fulfilled. Don't let the smell of a freshly waxed elevator cloud your judgement. Bide your time, the fresh scent of Lemon Pledge be damned! Besides, the last thing you need is your 85-year-old neighbour catching you with your hand up the skirt of the future Mrs.World-Renowed Web Columnist. Yowza!
Button Pushing - One time. Listen to these two simple words people. One time! I don't care how many times you push that button, that elevator ain't comin' down any faster. What exactly is the motivation behind this fruitless effort? Do you think that the electronic brain that controls the elevator is thinking, "Holy smokes! That guy's pushed the button over ten times already, I'd better get my gears a-movin'!" It's not gonna happen. Push once and put that finger back into its holster cowboy.
The elevator. Such a simple time saving device, yet so many complicated rules. Learn these rules. Read them, learn them well and maybe one day we all will be able to focus our efforts onto more important matters like world peace and global warming. Remember, with a concentrated effort the elevator can be the best friend you've ever had.
i always wonder how some people can come up with such hilarious out-of-this-world funny ideas.......... am i just plain boring? or are they plain wacky? i guess everyone's special in their own lil way aren't they?
somehow, everything seems so surreal.... went to e tavern yesterday night,. like the last time i did, and it felt so same, yet so different......... things have changed........ the music was good regardless, possibly even better than the last time, the cheeky bartender was still around......... but that was just bout it........ no doubt it was more crowded than it used to be, but the feeling i derived from within myself was different.......... it was as if something had been lost within me.... a certain loss of innocence......... that i'm now part of those old mature people... no longer the young preppy student bursting with energy i used to be.......... now i blend in with the rest of the crowd, tired old, jaded............ when i used to feel as if i stuck out, vibrant, young, fresh and ready...... now i'm beaten and weary............ it's funny what freedom does to u......... or mayb it's the fight toward freedom that's drained me............. i dunno......... all i know is, i'm tired.......... more so than i used to be............. even durin our junior days, our tiredness was always driven by a secret adrenaline outlet which we could tap from any moment we wanted to............. now i'm just tired, beaten down, old........ but i does feel good to be back on the streets and prowling............ living it up.......... well......... not exactly......... considerin that my parents regard me as ***quote*** "You're still a little girl" ***unquote*** bummer............ just when i thought i had almost everything going my way............ some things never change do they?
i realise i've somewhat ceased to think.................. i get tired, caught up with events, excited over stuff.............. and i conveniently forget to work that mass of grey matter of mine.......... it's easy to get caught up with normal day-to-day stuff........ outings, jobs, friends, having fun,....... and forgetting the aims you set before it all began...... whatever happened to wanting to get experience in theatre? after sending out two emails to wildrice and theatreworks and not receiving any reply from either, i've conveniently slackened and let my goal slip out of sight............ and when the time comes and i haven't gotten anything done, it's so easy to just push the blame to then and say it's cuz they didn't reply me isn't it? for a single tree to grow from seeds, the fruit has to produce like tens of seeds.... of those tens, only a few do grow into trees............. successful people succeed only because they try more, and fail more than other people........... and do i have what it takes to succeed??? i fear to find out.. but isn't that like half a step to total failure? throwing your fruit away and not even trying for fear that your seeds will not flower?
Thursday, December 19, 2002
Life's Ironies
it seems when you're crazily obsessed with someone that person couldn't give two hoots about you, and seemingly didn't even know bout your existence......... much less get your name right...............
then when you're finally over that person, well........ least you ain't the crazily obsessed self-professed drooling idiot over him anymore, he finally noties you and comes over and you actually have a nice conversation filled with laughs.................
just when you think you're on cloud nine, getting pumped up back to crazy obsession, you realise he has a girlfriend.......... ouch.............
such is life isn't it? how it lifts you up only to let you come crashing down............. but nevermind.......... we should have been smart enough by now to let that fact sink into our puny denial minds, just that we're too caught up with wonderland and thoughts of smiley rabbits in pyjamas.........
if trees could think.......
if trees could think, wouldn't they be so completely totally bored out of their minds? standing on their roots all day, 24/7.............. well........... i'd say it's the same as us looking back on neanderthals and saying they were stupid and technologically inadvanced........... we're all on different planes, there's no room for comparison is there?
we don't wonder at why and how birds can fly and we can't, it's a given fact.......... it's all parts of the gigantic collosal clockwork of life that clicks together so wonderously.......
thought of the moment
i wanna know what goes on in the mind of antonin artaud......... or bertol bretcht........
to think, or not to think?
fong says, he doesn't like to think too much............ it messes up the mind, and makes you a confused messed up person who doesn't know what you want and what's right and wrong......... but he said a long time ago that it's bad to stone, for the mind just stagnates, and it speeds up dementia........... so isn't there a contradiction already at work? doesn't like to think, but doesn't wanna stop thinking......... a balance has got to be struck.................
but stagnation is addictive........... so's thinking............. the more you slack, the more you get lulled into the mental inertia quicksand, and soon you find yourself stuck in a rut, with a non-working brain........... yet the more you think and question, more questions emerge and you realise you have an infitiny of question pouring into your head, with no answers........ you then become a walking confusion, debating on whether jay-walking is right or wrong.................. it's a catch22 situation isn't it? which came first, the chicken or the egg?
had a really fun time on the road today, despite being pulled over by the traffic police, who wanted to check my pdl and my instructor's driving license, ic, and instructor license............ i swear s'pore's becoming paranoia-land............. there were traffic policemen in tampines, and back at kampung ubi, we saw another 4 other traffic policemen........... honestly, which moron would learn driving without a pdl? which idiot would teach driving without a qualified license? we're really producing elites in this country eh? real efficient and smart thinking individuals who're gonna make up the future generation of singapore and lead her on ahead in the competitive world..........
and once again, i'm back on planet earth, settling into the comfort of life and inactivity, worming my way through life as a slug, jobless and aimless....... for e next 7 months at least............
should i at least get a 9-to-5 job? something stable? with shifts? or something one-off? there's no hard and fast way about this, yet i realise the hard and fast way's what i'm searching for............... so do i compromise myself? or do i continue my lofty aspiration and hope that lady luck shines on me?
Wednesday, December 18, 2002
confessions on the road
the past four days have been spent on the road, from s'pore to ipoh; from ipoh to penang; from penang to cameron highlands; and from cameron highlands back to s'pore.......... and alongside to the continous monotonous drone of the coach engine were the thoughts, confessions, feelings, views and experiences of two eighteen year olds, common in thought, thinking and upbringing, yet different in experience and lifestyle.............
in the span of four days, facades and external influences and societal expectations were thrown aside as two souls sought to attain communication and emerge with answers to questions long ago posed, but unanswered..............
religion fear death sex relationships friendship life family values morals aspirations dreams anger fun happiness
all these were shared and it seemed as if they were both defects from a master block, for their mindsets were so similar, liberal in mind yet conservative in heart............. yet at the end of the four days, the two part and return to their normal lives, back to their friends and cutting off contact with each other til the occasional 3 or 4 time a year annual family reunion.......... and when they do meet again, it's as if this level of understanding, sharing and communion never existed........... yet a split has been breached, and will always remain etched in heart, til time and wear erodes it away......................... and it's back to 'hello', 'goodbye'.............
existencialism.......... jean paul sartre was right............ things exist only right here; right now
Wednesday, December 11, 2002
as if the techno version of 'careless whisper' wasn't bad enough, they had to go and play the techno version of 'always on my mind'...... ***ouch***...... thanks man........ they've just successfully degraded the world's best love song to something ah-lian and ah-beng wanna-bes can appreciate......... i love this world man................
fear
what would you do if you didn't fear?
honestly? i dunno.......... would you go ahead and do what you wanted to do cuz the fear doesn't exist and hold you back anymore? or would the thought of doing it not even cross your mind cuz you don't fear it and therefore it doesn't bother you at all?
fear
of?
rejection? inadequancy? love? vulnerability? truth? commitment? independence? trust? betrayal? deception? communication? disappointment?
don't these characteristics make us the humans we are? yet are they the very things that hold us down from truly living life?
the hand you hold is the hand that holds you down
the child who clings to his mother will never learn to walk on his own and will eventually fall behind his counterparts........
just when you think you've found a perfect solace, an ideal hiding hole, life comes and kicks you in the arse, leaving you high and dry......... and sends your preconceived notion shattering into fragments of glass shards which cause you to bleed if you so much as attempt to catch onto them...........
to each his own
but what if society doesn't accept your kind?
the stars don't revolve around you, you orbit around them......... the whole world doesn't stop turning so that you can reminiscense on past sweet times......... u stop for a moment and it leaves you stranded and lost...... with no guiding light...........
everyone else expects you to understand them......... but the problem is........ they don't even understand you.......... how do you attempt to understand someone that doesn't even understand you? who expects you to understand them when you're expecting them to understand you?
to some people it's an all-or-nothing situation....... either you devote yourself to our friendship totally, or let's not be friends........ to others it's an i'll-take-what-i-can-get kinda thing........ if someone gives, you reciprocate............. if nothing's done, that's it, nothing's done.................
me? i'm the latter........ the only person who truly understands my stand on this: my brother....... i totally understand his problems now, about how his friends just approach him to look for his best friend, and how this other friend conveniently leaves him out of the discussion of them getting a lodging together in australia where they're studying........ it's as if he's mr. invisible............ i can empathise with him and connect with his indignation and anger......... when he gives a certain amount out, he expects the same amount back, and he's not getting it........... i can feel his hurt and pain, masked under his anger and indignation........ yet there's nothing i can do, or say to make him feel better..... to make things better.......... it seems as if the one person he trusts most and connects with the most is isolated from him even now......... and he's left stranded on his own island............ no one to call his own......... what do you do when the supposed closest person to you lets you down? when he just can't seem to put himself in your shoes? what then? moan and groan? move on? thrash things out? leave things be? nothing seems to be able to be done can it?
You know it only breaks my heart
To see you standing in the dark alone
Waiting there for me to come back
I'm too afraid to show
If it's coming over you
Like it's coming over me
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
That drags me out to the sea
And I wanna be with you
And you wanna be with me
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
And I don't wanna be
Stranded, stranded, stranded, stranded
I can only take so much
These tears are turning me to rust
I know you're waiting there for me to
come back
I'm to afraid to show
- 'Stranded' , Plumb
Thought of the Day
if we don't judge people by our own standards, then by whose standards do we judge them by?
to those who say they don't judge people, ballocks...... it's a whole buncha bull.........
Quote of the Day
'We're all bastards. Each one more than the other.' - "The Vultures"
Oxymoron of the Day
Life is slow dying..........
so tired
so jaded
so lost
wandering aimless,
wondering if what once was,
still is.........
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
beauty exists, and we are all perfectly flawed.......
yes it's true, i do believe that we are......... humans are walking paradoxes, and the only way to aptly attribute these walking paradoxes is with an oxymoron......... we're perfect in spite of our short-comings, our flaws, our imperfection.............. it's these ineptness of humans that give us our humanity, for to be without flaw is to be imperfect, the lack of feeling and emotion leaving us cold and unfeeling........... our flawed perfection is the backbone of our humanity, that is what i believe in and hold strongly to........ regardless of what anyone has to say in retort of persuasion, nothing can sway my stand......... we are perfectly flawed........
met up with an old sec sch friend today who's in town and leaving tomorrow......... haven't seen her in 2 years, and i dunno when i'll ever see her again............ thing is, i didn't feel excited to be meeting her, neither did i feel sad as we were bidding each other farewell.................. it's just become a part of life, and whatever comes is neither good, nor bad, is just is................ nothing's right nothing's wrong, everything's just normal........... am i becoming jaded? it scares me that i'm going to live my life feeling an absolute blankness, experiencing emotions the range of a dead man's oscilloscope........... to absolute horror of a jaded life haunts me........... lack of feelings and emotions, of enthusiasm and passion, the drive for life that's keep me burning for so long, is burning out finally, slowly wasting to just a glowing amber........ just waiting it's time to burn out........... to the special group of people who know my 'obsession' with a certain singer, i don't go through the same enthusiasm and excitement as i did........ it might seem as if i do, but it's just an act, where i used to react a certain way, and am just acting the same way as i did, not cuz i'm goin through the same emotions and feelings as i did before, but merely reproducing the actions cuz it's a given, a certain conditioning that's happened and i'm now reacting the way i am cuz that's how it was........ it's all a farce and an act.......... maybe the feeling will come back?
i just want someone who will hold onto me when i'm burning out, to rekindle my fire, whom i know that when my spark is fading and dying, will patiently wait by and try to rekindle it, whom i know that when i've changed and am no longer bursting with enthusiasm will love me all the same for my inactivity and try his best to work me up.......... who will attempt to find out the life in me when even i think i've none left.................... is that so hard to find? i see a few certain people around me who share this experience with someone else, and i see a reflection of bliss in their eyes........ every ephemeral moment to them is an eternity, and in the midst of chaos, they see only the beauty in each other........... i long to watch these people and experience their bliss, watching them i feel a flutter in the pits of my empty heart, for they represent the blissfulness that i never can feel............ and the closest i can come to sharing this ephemeral experience is to look in on them through a looking glass............
Sweetest love, I do not go
For weariness of thee,
Nor in hope the world can show
A fitter love for me;
But since that I
Must die at last, 'tis best
To use myself in jest,
Thus by feign'd deaths to die.
Yesternight the Sun went hence,
And yet is here today;
He hath no desire nor sense,
Nor half so short a way:
Then fear not me,
But believe that I shall make
Speedier journeys, since I take
More wings and spurs than he.
Oh how feeble is man's power,
That if good fortune fall,
Cannot add another hour,
Nor a lost hour recall!
But come bad chance,
And we join to it our strength,
And we teach it art and length,
Itself o'er us to advance.
When thou sigh'st, thou sigh'st not wind,
But sigh'st my soul away;
When thou weep'st, unkindly kind,
My life's blood doth decay.
It cannot be
That thou lov'st me, as thou say'st,
If in thine my life thou waste;
Thou art the best of me.
Let not thy divining heart
Forethink me any ill;
Destiny may take thy part,
And may thy fears fulfill;
But think that we
Are but turn'd aside to sleep;
They who one another keep
Alive, ne'er parted be.
- 'Song', John Donne
Monday, December 09, 2002
"i'm amazed at how much you can talk, how much you can write on your blog and how much you can speak" - jiayin
it seems pretty ironic that while she said that, i was going through a phase where i was feeling really tired and lazy, that i couldn't be bothered anymore to pen down my thoughts and think, that i was more content with quoting books, people, songs, and was happy expressing myself in single words....... well....... it leaves more room for free thoughts doesn't it?
wrong
as i contemplate on it, and as i read my friends' blogs and saw how long they were, about prom and the memories and thoughts it sparked off; about thinking back and the meories and thoughts it sparked off; about events and the memories and thoughts they sparked off, i realised i was accepting the 'careless complacency of the normal people'.......... it was all along on the back of my mimd, just that i refused to admit it, to contemplate it, to even consider it, to accept it........... it's amazing how much effort has to be put into wanting to think.......... and how much easier it is to attribute all this is being tired................... tiredness is like our form of escapism, our foolproof way of escaping the harsh reality and pulling this veil of our own tiredness over other's eyes, such that they cannnot see our escapism, our retreat, our insecurity, our fear, and our reality............... as of now, i'm tired.......... i'm mentally tired, from thinking............ i give myself the reason, or is it excuse?, that i'm still actively thinking, that i still think, just that i don't pen it down......... how true is this? only i would know........ but i don't........
Angie, Cherrie
simply beautiful.....
i read your blogs, and they both nearly made me cry....... they were beautiful......... especially cherrie's......... for you made me realise, made thoughts and feels resurface in me that i have let sink.............. that i've let the lull of inactivity pull me in............. while everyone way hyped up about the prom, i was half dreading it, what with all the preperations for the performance we werew forced to put up......... i realise now, that i was so engaged in seeing and experiencing that negative side, that i couldn't see the positive side, that everyone was beautiful, that we were all, in cherrie's words, princes and princesses........ that we were all perfect, everyone was blemish-free...... grudges and ill feelings were put aside for that brief 6hrs......... it was magical......... the banner was beautiful, the atmosphere was hypnotic, the music was great, the experience was entrancing............. the moment was ephemeral................ yet i didn't see that.......... only now, 5 days later, i realise my myopia, my folly, my self-absorption, my immaturity, my lack of insight, but it's too late isn;t it? but i don't regret....... rather, i look forward to life, that from this failed experience, this successful lesson, that i can embrace life with a wider peripheral vision, to see not only what's infront of me, but also what lies along the sides, that is less noticed, but more beautiful, the path less travelled, less mainstream................
as angie said, she refused to removed her makeup and sat in the hotel room in her gown, refusing to take of any part of the disguise that she had put on for prom....... for it was a symbolic removal of everything, of her life in vjc being over, that everything had come to an end, the refusal to let this truth take place, wishing to prolong the moment, even if it was for a minute............... it makes me think of our self-induced myopia, our unwillingness of acceptance and self-denial......... of self-deceit, for we are all capable of it........... i don't chide angie or blame her or mock her......... i acknowledge her........ her bravery in being able to see the inanity of the act, the acceptance that it doesn't help a thing, yet still doing it all the same.......... it's like sitting in the cinema after the show has ended, watching the credits roll by, not budging from our seats..... we wanna bathe in the moment, to prolong it for as long as we can, for we know it's all over..... and never to be relived........... such is life.......... but how often are we able to accept this? to stand against it face-to-face and shout to it's faceless face? how many of us dare to stand up to this anonymous fiend in our lives and challenge and taunt it, knowing full well in its hands it holds the marionette strings to which we are attached to? and in turn how many of us are able to see these strings tied to our feet? to not trip over our own feet in trying to avoid tripping over it? and when we do, how many of us can confidently admit it was our own carelessness that caused us to trip, and not blame it on our puppet strings?
while i was reading cherrie's blog, stevie ray vaughn's 'tick tock' was playing....... Remember, Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock people, Time's tickin' away, in company to studying geog, econs, lit and tsd, and learning about God's daily miracles which place our hearts in awe, understanding the news which we take for granted and turn a blind eye and deaf ear to, leaving with words, our constant companion through life, and about life itself, about ***quote*** Passion. Wit. Reality. Independence. Dependence. Communication. Illusion. Mask. Humans. Relationships. LIFE. ***unquote***
this past two years has been an experience for me, it was the experience..... often, i tend to look at people, and wonder whether they see any part of life that i see, if they view life as all hunky-dory, or as a blind grope along a dark alleyway...... i still do........ when you're standing on top of a mountain and are taking in the crisp air picturesque view, you gaze down and see the tiny ant-like figures and realise that's your kind you;re actually looking at, at other humans..... and you wonder if they've had they opportunity to share this experience as you've had....... and you wonder how they live their lifes, whether they've been enlightened, and you feel a certain sense of complacency, that you're higher than them. and that you're enlightened......... have you ever felt that way? cuz i do......... and it's this complacency that gets down, for it lifts me up unnecessarily............. is it wrong? or is it right? or is it just normal? i dunno.... i'm inclined to think..... and i'm left with a gaping hole staring at me for an answer........... so when people tell me i shouldn't be pursueing theatre, that "that's not who you are", that "you're not cut out for it", that "you're attracted by the fame and fortune", that "you don't know what it's like", i feel a certain indignance, a certain anger rising in me, and these are viewed as the careless complacents of the world....... how would they know what i'm like or what i want? they aren't me.......... all they see is the common misplaced side, the stereotyped picture of the common public...... they don;t see the sacrifice and blood and tears gone in............. they don't understand what i've been through in tsd, and they never will...... it's like a kindergarten teacher telling lofty teaching is a bed of roses and that kids are angels....... right......... better luck next time........... and so i leave this computer, as determined as i was when i first sat down, and as enlightened as i was when i first started typing, nothing changes very much in life does it? absurd theatre.......... see....... tsd has done me some use hasn't it? ***cynical laughter***
went for the red hot chilli peppers concert yesterday, and someone preached my own words back to me.... "never regret" the moment's gone, and nothing we do can change a thing, so where does the regret come in? what place does it have in our everchanging lives? nothings changes and nothings stops....... what good is regret? it seems i've managed to impart my words to another, have i? regret is like taking one step forward and two steps back.......... cliched as it sounds, but it is..... unless it's creative regret, which is hardly called regret at all............
after the rhcp concert, all the more i want matchboxtwenty to tour singapore......... it's wishful idealism to continue hoping, plain cynicism to kill my hope as they don't even know where singapore is, and creative optimistism to hope that one day they'll have a huge enough fanbase here for them to tour singapore.......... see what i mean? creative and destructive hoping........ not to forget plain airy wishing...........
One night while sleeping in my bed
I had a beautiful dream
That all the people of the world got together
On the same wavelength
And began helping one another
Now in this dream universal love was the theme of the day
Peace and understanding and it happened this way
The sick, the hungry, had smiles on their faces
The tired and the homeless had family all around
The streets and the cities were all beautiful places
And the walls came tumblin' down
People of the world all had it together
Had it together for the boys and the girls
And the children of the world look forward to a future
Remember
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock people
Time's tickin' away
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock people
Time's tickin' away
I had a vision of blue skies from sea to shining sea
All the trees in the forest stood strong and tall again
Everything was clean and pretty and safe for you and me
The worst of enemies became the best of friends
People of the world all had it together
Had it together for the boys and the girls
And the children of the world look forward to a future
Remember
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock people
Time's tickin' away
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock people
Time's tickin' away
Remember that, remember that
Remember that, remember that
People of the world all had it together
Had it together for the boys and the girls
And the children of the world look forward to a future
Remember
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock people
Time's tickin' away
Remeber that
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock people
Time's tickin' away
- "Tick Tock" , Stevie Ray Vaughn
or as billy cogan sings, "the world is a vampire"........ it's up to you which way u wanna look at it....... destructive vs constructive.........
Saturday, December 07, 2002
Quotes of the day
All the time we are aware of millions of things around us - these changing shapes, these burning hills, the sound of the engine, the feel of the throttle, each rock and weed and fence post and piece of debris beside the road - aware of these things but not really conscious of them unless there is something unusual or unless they reflect something we are predisposed to see. We could not possibly be conscious of these things and remember all of them because our mind would be so full of useless details we would be unable to think. From all this awareness we must select, and what we select and call consciousness is never the same as the awareness because the process of selection mutates it. We take a handful of sand from the endless landscape of awareness around us and call that handful of sand the world.
When analytic thought is applied to experience, something is always killed in the process. Mark Twain's experience, after he had mastered the analytic knowledge needed to pilot the Missippi River, he discovered the river had lost its beauty. Something is always killed. But what is less noticed in the arts - something is always created too. And instead of just dwelling on what is killed it's important also to see what's created and to see the process as a kind of death-birth continuity that is neither good nor bad, but just is.
Friday, December 06, 2002
self-enclosed
self-absorbed
self-conscious
self-critical
self-reproach
self-doubt
self-uncertainty
self-detachment
self-consolation
self-deception
self-pity
self-confusion
self-contraption
self-entanglement
self-denial
myself.
i'm a selfish lil brat
sorry
Wednesday, December 04, 2002
gagged and tied to a sinking ship......
i'm so tired, so so tired.............. in erwin's words, 'my a's has just ended, and i'm tired, i don't have the time present myself as some form of entertainment for the school, it's just a bloody prom'
yeah! u go boy!!!!!!!!!
well............. easy for me to say........ it's so often we talk big, put on false bravado, only to hicken out and succumb to peer pressure at the last minute.........
i am so tired, so so tired............
i have not had a decent night's sleep ever since the a's started................
i woke up at 5 fucking a.m. today....... so don't nobody tell me not to get pissed........it's the least u can let me do.......
there was a bloody blackout at my house......... conveniently while my parents are away on holiday........ again........... why does shit always happen when u're least prepared to accept it? bloody freaking hell........... woke up cuz e air con was off and it was a freakin hell-hole in my room....... at 0513hrs........ by e time e people from e public utilities board came it was like already 6?? and by e time they were done it was 715.......... so much for sleep....... and i was supposed to meet soe people at 9 ...... like thanks man.......... there goes my sleep........ FUCK......... okie? that's my sole outlet of expression........ i can't say a thing, neither can i do a shit when everybody else is getting worked up and losing their heads and their cool, talking pessimistic......... u know......... pessimism doesn't really contribute much??? gee..... didn't take me much to figure that one out.......... bloody freaking hell......... just dig me a hole and i'll pay you to loan it to me, least i can have some peace and quiet and rest there............
three straight days of meeting early in the morn.......... lastin till late after noon.......... faced with an answerless question thrown in our faces....... i didn't finish my a's to be thrown into this shit.............. what's w e prom crap? can't we just all go along merrily and have fun? bloody hell........ this is turning out worse than ever............. why's it that such things always happen to me? things that are 'supposed to be fun' always become monsters in the end................. it was e same with faculty captain, group, and now prom?!~?!?~?! fuck okie? fuck this, fuck it, fuck it all........ i'm through with this crap.......... why is it that people act up at the smallest change in plans? can't they just keep their heads on their shoulders and THINK!?~?!?~! is that word so foreign?? think?!~?!? i have enough on my mind to worry bout urs okie?? we;'re in this together and contrary to your lil brain, i AM experiencing the same shit too........ don't panic and start gettin crazy and expect me to come up with immediate answers.......... i dunno what u think bout me, but here's a start, i'm h u m a n.... gee... didn't occur to u that u weren't the only living thing in this world? how surprising..........
freaking hell
bite me
j u s t l e a v e m e a l o n e
fuck
Tuesday, December 03, 2002
***accepting bl's and soulitary's challenge***
50 positive things about myself
1. I like my hair, despite it's thinness.....
2. I get complements about my smile
3. i've got a sense of humour......
4. ....... and absurd sense of humour.....
5. I always try to see silver lining around the cloud
6. I appreciate music and art
7. I'm healthy and athletic
8. I'm outgoing
9. I'm spontaneous
10. I make people laugh
11. I am loved ***winkwink***
12. I've got friends
13. My friends have got me
14. I give without wanting in return
15. I have a wonderful family.....
16. ........coupled with fights and disputes that make life more interesting.........
17............. and let's us get to know each other better even after years of living together.......
18. I am single
19. I am a part of the Arts Faculty..... was.....
20. I am the Arts faculty Captain...... was.....
21. I make up a part of 01A55
22. I belong to TSD.....
23. ....... and TSD belongs to me
24. I'm good with my hands
25. I'm a perfectionist
26. I am an idealist
27. I keep my feet grounded
28. I do not try to keep up with fads
29. I am my own person
30. I make friends readily
31. I know what I want in life
32. I keep promises
33. I refuse to conform
34. I can act
35. I can think bout others before myself
36. I have morals and values that i stick to
37. I am able to ponder about life and abstract values
38. I refuse to let life get me down
39. I am fitter than most people
40. I can hold my liquor
41. I listen to good music
42. I read (surprisingly, not many people do... really)
43. I can play the drums (least i'd like to think i can)
44. I'm capable of self-deceit! ***gringrin***
45. I can take, and make jokes about myself
46. I live in total comfort
47. My parents give me whatever i want........
48. .......... but i don't take advantage of them
49. I've got a conscience
50. I've got compassion
see bl!!!!!! it ain't that difficult!!! cmon girl!!!!!! i wanna see u do it!!!!
***gives bl a encouraging smack on her butt**
another fruitful(?) day........
ahh................ another day spent on prom performance............. yesterday was one......... today was two....... and tomoro shall be three..... boy, will i be glad when this whole thing's over.............. will i?? i dunno........... maybe i'll miss it when it's gone................... such is human nature isn't it? we never really apprecioate something until it's passed us by and then we mope about it, even if it's somwething that we kinda loathe and detest in the first place............. sigh......... the paradox of man............. but isn't that what makes us so interesting? so enticing and intriguing? that we're incomprehensible paradoxes? we're walking paradoxes who constantly evolve and change from day to day; moment to moment................
do you believe in ghosts?
it's all just a conception that lies in our heads isn't it? to the oldern people and certain cultures like tha native americans and maybe voodoo, ghosts are as real to them as technology is to us.............. it's just that when they existed, they didnm't know of technology, and in out time, the idea of technology has grown widespread and accepted whereas that of ghosts has grown obsolete............. gravity existed way before newton 'discovered' it, but until he did, gravity didn't 'exist'.......... it's the same thing isn't it? it's all in the mind........... how queer...........
it's strange isn't it? when we think back on how thimgs evolve and change from time to time, evene though we remain the same, only our mindsets change, such ideals lacking in concrete and scientific explanations................ in a way we're justifying the enscientific with scientific methods aren't we? haha......... how ironic............ but that's man isn't it? now, even i aren';t making any more sense to myself........... just kinda proved my own point without tryin to eh?
Sunday, December 01, 2002
seems as if i've got more things lined up for me after my a's....................... before e a's, e only thing that mattered was the a's................... now? i can't prioritise........... things i wanna do, i can't.......... things i dun wanna do, i have to........ how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how?
blub blub blub.............. urgh........... ***whimperwhimpergroangroanwhinewhine***
get a grip daphne!
often, we're faced with things we dun wanna do, yet we have to in life, especially as we grow older and are met with more experiences and dilemmas........ it's kinda ironic isn't it? that when we're young, we find it easier to make decisions, yet when we grow older, decisions get harder and harder to make, and sometimes, they even put us in tough spots, where the outcomes of our decisions affect not just us, but everyone else around us................... why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why?
get real daphne!
why is it that i can never get what i want? inane things that i feel a lil inkling towards i get without even so much as a snap of a finger................. but when it comes to things that really matter to me, that i desparately want and crave for, it's so far beyond reach....... so distant that i can't even see it in the horizon.......... but the mirage created by it is so real and illusory that it leads me to believing that it's within my grasp............... why does life play such cruel jokes on me? it's fun to see someone suffer isn't it? sadistic nature of nature? then again, i realise i'm being immature and brattish, wanting what i don't need, disregarding what i have that others need.......... yet still, my greed triumphs over humility and makes me the monster that i am........... i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want i want
grow up daphne!
so now i'm left with what i have, that i don't need and an immense sea of activities and responsibilities to fulfil that other's have no chance to shoot at.......... yet i hanker for more............ i want the impossible............ normal people have the possible, i've attained the probable, and now i've gotten greedy and want the impossible......... this is what power does doesn't it? it turns us into monsters of our selves that we hardly recognise, but continue nestling all the same...............
good bye daphne...
and so here she stands, judged by all, a vague reflection of her former self, she recognises bits and pieces here and there, on the whole she's the same person, but within, cracks and crevices have started to appear and there's no way she can mend them, or to fully break away from the past........ : sad sad sad
the first thing she notices are her eyes, a glassy hollow blue, tinged with sadness and poignancy.......... her hair, a head of flaming red, is divided in two, tied together by sparsely separated bands, which form two thick locks that rest upon her chest....... her locks look as if they've been chopped off at her chest, at once thick, next gone............... the top of her head is covered by a large hat that she wears askew, and that too, is a fiery red............... her porcelian skin seems almost translucent, reflecting the red burn of her dress, and brings out her sharp blue eyes....... the red dress she wears matches her hair, and is in an ornate vistorian style, with lacings and corset........ but it's short and flares out, seemingly like a circus girl's short skirt, conplete with tassles, meant to tease and tempt.............. in her deep rich blue gloved hands, a bird of prey, a feather being plucked in her gentle caress..... next to her a male figure stands, facing away from us, in a suit and green tie......... his head? a moose's...... a figure of stance and importance, holding out on his own.........
the roads are empty and cold, in a place that seems to her like paris..... the lights are ornate oldern gas lamps........ the pillars with grand gargoyles atop........ ominous, yet disturbingly quiet................ it seems as if we're travelling at a fast pace along the streets, floating along......... or are they just apparitions?
in a corner, a white silhouette stands, motionless....... watching............ waiting........... fading......................
yet her hollow eyes seem to gaze right through you into nothingness........... or is it into your soul?
or is it fraught with meaning? too intense and pained for us to grasp?
We saw it and yet we didn't see it. Or rather we were trained not to see it. The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling. - 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance'
man uses language to occupy the voids and masks the inadequacy of mankind
random thoughts i grasp........... they're all too scattered.......... and i'm too tired to organize them............
and i say REJOICE!!!!!!!!!
oh yeah!~ e exams are over............ it's the end of our dreaded formal education in spore..... forever....... wow.......... feels good? mmm........... kinda got over e elation before the last paper............................ oh well............ blurb blurb.........
crash test dummy!
went for my forst driving lesosn today.......... well..... kinda fun and scarey at the same time................
i'm tired now..............
my brain has stopped functioning since 9am this morn, since i woke up..................
i slept 5 hrs yesterday night..............
house music sucks big time............
i'm swearing off house music and trance..............
i swear the ublues band has telepathic powers....... they always wear matching colours for their gigs..........
she's a vindictive bitch who says mean things bout ppl she doesnt even know.............
obsession is a bad thing, it eats away at u.............
'got my mojo working baby, but it just won't work on you'
another one bites the dust
floundering.........................
would we have done what we did if we didn't fear?
prom is so freaking troublesome........... i dun wanna be prom queen anymore............. i dun wanna do all e shit involved w it............. it's so leychey........ wytghsdjvbfcugw
hot
hot
so hot
he's scorching
'cmon mama let me turn u on'
i can play the bass..... YEAH!~~ for one song................
retarded fingers belong to a retarded person
why won't they let me be?
why won't i let me be?
the hand you hold is the hand that holds you down
i'm tired.........
i'm so tired.................
so...................
cats............................
let me in
does absence really make the heart grow fonder? or is it out of sight out of mind?
our sight is what obscures us from the truth
rubber duckie wuckie lucky blackie
i've got people coming over tomoro...... i'd better clean up my room, my house............ oh no..... i wanan sleep in......... but they're comin over at 10..... ***mumblegrumble***
words cannot express how i feel
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