quote of the day , courtesy of cherrie

Speech is a freudian upsurge of a disturbed mind

cherrie wants to have her wedding in a club, where she'll just burst in and yell out "Don't worry bout me! Carry on with your dancing, I'm just taking some photos!" complete with strip dancers(for herself) and loincloths...... she really knows how to live it up don't she?
well.......... that sparked off a cog in me......... i told her i wanna hold mine in a pub.......... complete with wedding gown and everything, except that it's just a lil smokier and darker and danker and more booze-smelling than any restaurant............ but it's got great live music!! and drinks to rock you! you betcha...... what with the rainbows and margheuritas and tequilas and shots........... i'd want my husband to serenade me.......... isn't that sweet? him with his guitar and pick on stage, crooning to a pubful of people in his nicely cut suit........ ooh........ just gets to me............. i'll get trevor to sing too............. with that deep soulful resounding voice of his............ and i'll throw in a lil of rob thomas too............... ouch man............ it's gonna be sizzling......................

but of course.................... it's only a dream.................

the main crux? i gotta find someone who wants me in the first place........... tsktsk......... tis difficult............

i am not all that i seem

had a really disturbing dream today.... least i thought it was disturbing............. it wasn't morbid or sick or deranged or whatever.......... just that i've never been able to recall me dreams........... the last time i recall dreaming was like when? months ago......... i never remem my dreams............. and when i do, and so vividly, it presents so many aspects of my character all sized up in one dream...........

somewhat a reflection of myself and wish-fulfilment dream...............

we were at the beach, and ublues was playing on stage, and the whole school was there........ but i don't recall the people............. i was just hanging around with a bunch of my friends, and then one of them starts chasing me, seemingly playing catching........ i run off and along comes trevor, and i run behind him, using him as some form of a shield, grabbing hold of him from behind, real tight.......... and my catcher does not dare to come near me............ then he goes off..........
i can't remem what happens next, of if the scene just switched, but trevor and i are sitting down, him with his back against a rock outcrop on the sand and me facing him..... he asks me "Do you think you're attractive?" and i'm caught completely off-guard..... there's stunned silence for a few moments while my brain cogs set in motion before i retort him "Do you think i'm attractive?" his stunned silence goes to show he hasn't been expecting this socrates play, and he doesn't know what to say.......... i dunno if there's a gapping part of the story here, but he suddenly says matter-of-factly, "I can't mess around (or play around) with you now, i've got ct session later"........... after he's gone(or disappears), i see hannah appear from nowhere........... and exchange a few words.......... again either it's a memory lapse, or scene switch, but i'm in a room, i presume a classroom, and it's empty........... i slide the door open and justin yip's on the other side........... i think he's with a girl who's lying on the floor......... she seems passed out or something... i dunno....... and he's just sitting down next to her........... or maybe the girl's not even there at all? i ask him where everyone is and he says outside.......... so i step out, and i realise i was in a somewhat container-block-like classroom, surrounded by weeds outside.......... i see a lone pair of slippers and i try to reach them with my feet but some stupid lizard gets in my way and delays me............. i finally get to it and wear it, and i go look around for people.................. but it's empty and deserted, with the stage empty and i feel kinda lost and forlorn......... i run into my mum.......... and i ask her something....?? she said ublues finished performing........ apparently it was during the time i was in the containerblock-like room with justin.............. she said they were good, and something about my friends being somewhere down the beach....??? i dunno.............. cuz right here, i was woken up by an sms......... darn it..........

looking into my own dream, and trying to analyse it while i was sitting on the toilet bowl, i realised it spoke a lot about me and who i am, about how i feel towards certain things and people, and how the things that occur around me affect me, things that i take for granted and don't realise............... things that i know about myself but don't think the people around me do............ it was a cross between a wish-fulfilment dream and a self-awareness dream............ it was a normal dream, nothing out of the blue, but it kinda creeped me out, giving me insights into certain things i'd rather not acknowledge................ ***shuddershudder***

well......... here's my quote of the day:
Dreams are a Freudian projection of one's innermost thoughts

what's the difference betweeen God's will and Fate? the only difference that really stares at me in the face is that one's an attempt to rationalize the things that happen to us that we feel we don't deserve by non-believers in Christ, and the other's an attempt to explain the things that happen to us that we feel we don't deserve by believers in Christ....... period...........

a friend once asked me before if i believed in Fate, and i said i believe in God's will............ then he asked me what e diff was........ i set out to explain it to him........... his reply? "Isn't it the same thing? Just that we refer to it differently?" well, i adamently said "NO"......... but i didn't know how to state my case.......... i was at a loss..........

it seems that all of religion stems from our mind, our thoughts and beliefs, and our perspective of our macrocosm................ there is no real concrete evidence that dionysius or Zeus or Apollo or God exists............ we just believe they do.............. this almost blasphemy to say what i'm saying, but it's true, least thats what i feel............. it's all in our state of mind............. if we believe; we believe............ of we don't; then there's no point arguing is there? how do you make an atheist believe in the existence of God? unless God himself stands before the bugger? even so, he'd probably say we're calling his bluff isn't it? how then, do we justify this tremendous force that depicts the way we lead our lives and shapes our thoughts? it's all but in the head........... it's all a matter of faith and belief........... but isn't it shatteringly frightening to know that something so forceful is so impossible to pin down? that it's only an abstract idea that exists? where's the proof? in our 21st century advanced world, no one's given the benefit of the doubt..... the new religion is science, for it's concrete, and produces results that are recognisable to the human eye......... are we that lacking in faith? are we that degenerate?