can birds fall to their death?
was sitting at sturbucks today, sipping my coffee and doing my math, when i happened to look to the pavement outside and i saw a pigeon roosting on the tarmac, and i said to myself, 'please don't tell me it's dead'........ well.... as if in response to my sentiment, it arched its ass.......... moments later it tried to stand up and walk, then i realised it was injured, it was limping and wobbling, hobbling from side to side, falling to the ground every now and then, completely helpless............ people just watched it nonchalently, as if one pigeon life wasn't worth anything........ to watch it was tortuous, knowing full well i wanted to do somthing to help yet could not and did not know what to do............ for hours it just stood there, resting and occasionally trying its legs, only to be failed by them time and again..............
when it started to rain, the old man who waters to plants came, and he just picked the bird up roughly by its wings, causing me to wince in pain for the little beast...... he dumped it behind some block... and it wobbled its way under the ixora bushes....... unable to fly or crawl to safety......
watching this wretched form, i can't help think what sets us apart from them.......... what makes us so special that we can just ignore another living creature in agony whiklst we sit on and bask in our comfort........... is that what superior beings do? if so, where has humanity gone? to technology and science i guess?

what happens to crows that are shot by those government paid bird-shooters? do they simply just disappear from sight? come to think of it, i've never seen the carcasses of these crows on sidewalks and pavements..... after getting shot, are they killed instantly? or do they get wounded and fall to the ground? and if they do fall to the ground, are they killed on impact of hitting the ground? just like how we die when we jump off a building? but how is it that i've never seen any streets littered with crow guts? do they land gently and softly? how? and what does the government do with these dead/wounded birds? burn them and use their ashes to manufacture bricks? this whole common everyday life issue seems to be covered with mystery for me.......... for the past 365 days of each year, 18 years in all, i've lived through with this common phase and yet i know nothing about it........... do we take for granted something so insignificant? yet important? doesn't this go to show our materialism and absorption with ourselves?

study? shop?
it's only 7 more days to my exams and i still can jalan jalan around in parkway, fulfilling my shopping desires, when i should be engaging in intellectual activity with my books........ how ironic......... i still don't feel the stress........... in fact, to speak rather ashamedly, i am pleased with my buy today.......... i purchased a voyage de rita top and two skirts.......... (again)......... after recently spending $256 on two tops, a skirt and a pair of slippers at the very same place........... is it simply a lack of self-control? or am i subconsciously trying to destroy myself? doing what i know i shouldn't and not doing what i know i must? how now brown cow? ***frownfrown*** i feel this sense or urgency surfacig, yet i'm trying to suppress it, hoping by ignoring it it would go away........... stupid futile and inane......... yet worth a try........... this can't go on.............