why is it so hard to do what i wanna do and say what i wanna say?

why do i always hafta think through what i wanna say and try and phrase it as politically correct as possible in order not to hurt the e person i'm talking to when he/she doesn't really bother or care bout how i feel when he/she says hurtful things without a consideration for my fragile heart?

why do i always try to be thoughtful and try and cover the cruel tough facts when it all gets thrown back in my face and spat on?

why am i such a wuss?

why do i allow myself to take all this shit from the people around me when i try to be as nice as possible?

why do i bother myself with people who don't bother bout me?

why do i let myself be plagued by them?

why can't i be brutal like the world around me?

why am i, as someone once quipped, "incapable of being mean"?

why do i even bother being nice?

why do i even bother?

"The weight of this sad time we must obey,
Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say." - 'King Lear', William Shakespeare