What Type Of Loser Are You?
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***lower lip trembles***

heeheh........ now....... if i really cried over that then i'd really be a humongous loser.... ehehhe

Top 10 Fav Things
1. Feeling the lactic acid coarse through my legs after a reallyyyyyy loonnnnnnggggg run..... ah....... shiok...........
2. Receiving lil msgs or a lil word totally out of the blue from friends knowing i'm still loved
3. Just hanging out and catching up or sharing stuff with friends at a nice coffee joint with a laid back ambience........ life man.........
4. Turtles, real or fake, alive not dead........................................
5. My tiny souvenir orange-beaked duck from e Singapore Duck Race named Duq
6. Matchboxtwenty
7. Universal Blues Band.......... ***guilty look***
8. A cuddle....... ***purrs***
9. Arts Faculty
10.Tsd, with all it's ups and downs, inclusive of lofty
(can i add in a No.11 pls??? pretty pls???)
11. A sense of belonging (think workshop)

'That's not the proper way to enter the library'
gee....... i never knew there was a certain way to enter the library...... don't you just move your legs forward one at a time and avoid tripping? just reprimanded today for 'not entering the library the proper way'..... well excuse me for being lazy and looking for a shorter way around those obstrcutive and useless devices used to pick up smuggled books.......... we're students in a school for goodness' sake!!! how far away can we get without getting caught first? and whatever happened to 'trust'? that age-old value between people? not to mention those blasted things beep like there's a bomb rai\d on a frequency of once every half an hr.......... and we're not supposed to talk in the library? what a joke........ the paradoxical nature of life........ this'll make shakespeare turn in his grave..............

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.
I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in New York City
And I don't know why.

Are we listening to hymns of offering?
Have we eyes to see that love is gathering?
All the words that I've been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding into one.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
As the years roll down.
'Cause it's the world I know.
It's the world I know.
- 'The World I Know' , Collective Soul

'I think you need help'
thanks for the advice cherrie, i feel so assured now........ ***mad fervour gringrin with dribble at corner of mouth***

sometimes i think i do too.......... let's just say i feel i have problems regulating my thoughts and emotions...... i can't get serious when the situation calls for it, and i can't lighten up when everyone around me's trying to make things better........... or am i just a teeny-weeny bit obsessive-complusive? then moment i step into the library i feel this huge rising surge to make noise, squeak my shoes; stomp my way; jump and hop around; talk and giggle; draw my 'happy corners' on the tables...... it's always the wrong feelings and thoughts for the wrong situation............... insecurity maybe? i dunno.......... maybe i do need professional help... any recommendations anyone?

'what is bliss? and which the way?' - Samuel Johnson

can we just suddenly change the way we feel towards someone in a matter of a few minutes after knowing th person for more than a year? the sudden flux of emotions and attention? how we take things for granted when we don't really need then, yet when we aren't sure anymore of their existence and or if we've still got it then we clamour back to it, trying to reach at something that once was, but the vague shadow of an apparition now, unsure and coy..............

why do we torture ourselves like that? it's an underlying inner desire to be broken and tomented isn't it? deep down, inside, we all want some form of emotional torment, cuz there's some comfort in knowing that when we're suffering, things can only get better don't they? the danger of getting what u want is that u might lose it.............. the assurance in not getting what u want is the knowledge that at least u don't have to suffer from cold turkey........... what then, is the ideal utopia? or is there even one?

to acknowledge you're scared and face your fear is step one........... what's step two?

reaching for something that's so near, yet so far........ is torturous......... it's like a dagger that's plunged into your heart and twisted around.............. and you know you can't pull it out cuz your heart's gonna be ripped out from under your nose......... what then? is there no way out?

And outside, the sky is falling
People dodging raindrops, staying dry
And inside, I never gave a damn about those outside people anyway
And it hurt me
They don't even know who I am

And inside, there’s no rainbows
And inside, I try I try I try, try to clear my head
And outside, the rain is drying
And inside, I'm dying

'Cause in here, I’m staring at the rings my coffee cup has made on the table
And in here, I know I know I know, that this is as good as it gets
And in time I hope to be the one that talks about the other half
Until then, I count the cracks on the wall
Until it’s time to lay my head

And inside, I play with shadows
And inside, I know I know I know, that I'll feel this way all day, all day
And outside, there’s hope for trying, and inside I’m dying

You walk before me, lord knows I can’t follow
You walk behind me and I don’t think I can lead
You walk around me, please don’t walk around me
'Cause you know how dizzy I get
- 'Dizzy', Tabitha's Secret