reflections of the state of my mind

I wanna make you smile whenever you are sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get you medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
So it could be so nice
Growing old with you

I'll miss you, kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you, feed you
Even let you hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink
Oh I could be the man
Who grows with you
I wanna grow old with you
- "Grow old with you' , Adam Sandler


So scream you, out from behind the bitter ache
Heavy on the memory, you need most
still want love, ugly, smooth and delicate
not without affection, not alone

And instead of wishing that it would get better
man you're seeing that you just get angrier

And it's good that I'm not angry
I just need to get over,
I'm not angry, anymore

Cry when you cry, run when you run
love when you love
represent the ashes
that you leave behind

And instead of wishing that the road had shoulder
man you're seeing that you're sinking over time

And it's good that I'm not angry
I just need to get over
I'm not angry
it's dragging me under
I'm not angry

I'm not angry it's never been enough
it gets inside and it tears you up
I'm not angry but I've never been above it
you see through me don't you
- 'Angry' , matchboxtwenty


Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blowtorch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning
So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
I promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep
It seems no one can help me now,
I'm in too deep, there's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life's mystery seems so faded
I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else's known
Here I am just a-drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train
And everything seems cut and dried,
Day and night, earth and sky,
Somehow I just don't believe it

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughing at the rain
A little out of touch, a little insane
It's just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train, never coming back
Runaway train, tearing up the track
Runaway train, burning in my veins
I run away but it always seems the same
- 'Runaway train' , Soul Asylum


They say misery loves company
We could start a company and make misery
Frustrated, Incorporated ... Frustrated Incorporated
Well I know just what you need
I might just have the thing
I know what you'd pay to see
Put me out of my misery
I'd do it for you, would you do it for me
We will always be busy making misery

We could build a factory and make misery
We'll create the cure; we made the disease
Frustrated, Incorporated, Frustrated, Incorporated
Well I know just what you need
I might just have the thing
I know what you'd pay to feel
Put me out of my misery

All you suicide kings and you drama queens
Forever after happily, making misery
Did you satisfy your greed, get what you need
Was it only envy, so empty
Frustrated, Incorporated, Frustrated, Incorporated
- "Misery" , Soul Asylum


Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

Everyone is changing
there's noone left that's real
so make up your own ending
and let me know just how you feel
cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
- 'Blurry' , Puddle of Mudd


In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey,
butane in my veins so I'm out to get the junkie
with the plastic eyeballs, spraypaint the vegetables,
dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose,
kill the headlights and put it in neutral,
stockcar flaming with a loser in the cruise control,
baby's in Reno with the vitamin D,
got a couple of couches, sleep on the love seat,
someone came sayin' I'm a saint (I'm insane)
to complain about
a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt,
don't believe everything that you breathe,
you get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve,
so shave your face with some mace in the dark,
saving all your food stamps for burning down the trailer park,

yo, cut it
Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me,
double barrel buckshot,
Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me,

forces of evil on a bozo nightmare,
ban all the music with a phony gas chamber
cause one's got a weasel and others got a flag,
one's on the pole, shove the other in the bag,
with the rerun shows and cocaine nose job,
the daytime crap of the folk singers slop,
he hung himself with a guitar string,
a slab of turkey neck and it's hangin' from a pigeon wing,
I can't write if ya' can't relate,
trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate,
and my time is a piece of wax, fallen on a termite,
who's chokin' on the splinters

Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me
get crazy with the cheez-wiz,
Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me
drive, by, body pierce
yo bring it on down

I'm a driver, I'm a winner
things are gonna' change I can feel it

Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me
I can't believe it
Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me
- 'Loser' , Beck







What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com /
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CMUK - Crazy Mixed Up Kid

i took the personality test and i was a high I-S........... Influencing and Stable.............. more inclined to influencing... guess i'm pretty okie with it, looking at my antics and all.......... but well............. think i'm more of a CMUK eh? ehheeh............ with all the runaway trains of thought and bullet train talk.......... shooting from here to there, digressing......... but it's alright......... i'm happy the way i am........ yeah? ***gringrin*** life is all about accepting who you are and liking yourself......... this may sound like an ego-maniac talking, but the person you love most should be yourself........... (aside from God)........ cuz God made you who you are, and loving yourself the most equates to loving God and what he's given you, although it doesn't really belong to you right? but well......... there's a limit to this self-idolatry of course....... we all know what i'm talking about............. ***winkwink***......... hmm...........

**sorry gladrag.......... know you aren't really big on all the lyrics and stuff...... but they just so aptly describe how i feel.......... so bear with me yah?? thanks....... love you lots....... yah.... i really do........ =) not just saying it like i always retort on the crap that comes from me......... but well........... really treasure what we've got going for the past what........ 5 years.......... you're the greatest friend i've got and it would really stab me to lose you, but well....... i'm hoping that day wouldn't come.......... though all good things come to an end.......... ***bites lower lip*** remember our deal ah!!!! if we're both forty and unmarried we're gonna stay together okie? u gotta tidy my room for me... AHHAhAHa!~ but judging from the looks of things........ i don't think it's gonna end up that way eh?? (chin-chin-chin-chin) ***gringrin*** ehhehehe.......... ***knowing look*** but i still hope we're rooming together in manchester though............ not solely cuz u can cook and clean for me...... ahah...... only partly....... kiddin ....... but most importantly....... cuz you're my friend... and a good one at that......... (i hope i am too......... ***shifty eyes***) and i hope that during this most trying period for me i'll be able to have someone i can depend on next to me, to guide and pull me along......... so if we get into shit, at least we're in it together............. makes it all the more easier to deal with it.......... but in the meantime......... study hard gu-ny!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yours truly, nini.............