The current mood of dyseluxon@hotmail.com at www.imood.com

 
The Big Bag of Random Stuff
 

 
We weren't born with a name, we were given a name. A hedgehog doesn't have a name. It's just a nameless thing with a handful of flesh and skin and a beating heart. A hedgehog doesn't even know it doesn't have a name.
 
 
   
 
Thursday, September 26, 2002
 
well.......... can't say i'm surprised at your test results beautifuloser....... for the sake of it....... the beautiful one among us.......... ahha.............. no pun....... strictly no pun................ hehehe................ since i'm the disillusioned one that automatically makes you the beautiful one right? sheesh.................... thinking about it............ yeah.............. i'd say i'm pretty histrionic and obsessive-compulsive.......... just wondering why i didn't get like a high for schizotypal and narcissistic too........... ***gringrin***
was looking at my parents buying dessert at tiong bahru market......... and the sudden realization of them being very loving struck me.......... their shared smiles and their familiar reassuring touches really warmed my heart............... it was then i realized that love does exist.................. when barely an hour before that they nearly broke out into a quarrel about how my dad drove the car away and my mum and i couldn't find him as he was sitting virtually next to us reading his paper.......... but he didn't say so........ and we were left high and dry looking for his car which was parked in some desolate corner obscured by some lorry............ it was the typical mis-communication that happens every so often......... which not handled well could explode into a full blown cold war................

i got chills, they're multiplying, and i'm losing control
cause the power you're supplying, it's electrifying

you better shape up, cause i need a man, and my heart is set on you
you better shape up, you better understand, to my heart i must be true
nothing left, nothing left for me to do

you're the one that i want, you are the one i want, ooh ooh ooh honey
the one that i want, you are the one i want, ooh ooh ooh honey
the one that i want, you are the one i want, ooh ooh ooh honey
the one i need, oh yes indeed

if you're filled with affection, and you're too shy to convey
meditate my direction, feel your way
i better shape up, cause you need a man
i need a man who can keep me satisfied
i better shape up if i'm gonna prove
you better prove that my fate is justified
are you sure? yes i'm sure down deep inside

it seems that i'm skeptical about the notion of love............ that the fact that i could actually spend the rest of my life with someone escapes my grasp......... to quote beautiful, "for a pretty long time I lost faith in the boy-girl kind of relationship. I found it very difficult to actually consider trusting a guy" ............... well............... i agree with you beautiful.............. with the first part of your statement but not the second................... but today........ looking at my parents................. and after that in the car during the drive home while taking in the urban landscape of surroundings of the singapore river.......... i pondered over it.......... have i actually lost faith? or is it just that i never placed the faith there in the first place? i suspect it is the latter............. the fear of failure that keeps us all from taking that one known step into the unknown.......... that prevents us from discovering the universal secret that propels our world forward............. is it a pity that we are unable to immerse ourselves in this wondrous dimension and experience the rollar-coaster ride............. yet just like palpitations that we feel prior to stepping on the ride.............. it freezes us and to take that one step seems like crossing the pacific ocean back in the days where maps were unknown............... like the human heart............. unknown to others and even to oneself.......... vague and escaping.......... we're all looking for someone to call our own....... to belong to........ yet are we willing to lay our hearts down on the line? and who is to say that when we gather up our soul and lay our naked heart down on this line a train wouldn't come bulleting over and obliterating it? which then is a better fate: to live in the security of our remorse at not daring to venture; or to experience the thrills of this risky ride yet in the end have the whole sctruture come crashing down on you....... confirming your doubts on past years unknown? don't we all end up similarly? disillusioned and broken....... fragmented beings with nothing to fall back upon..........

Nothing
And nothing's where you're at when you ain't got something
You'll never get it back
It's coming on like a drug
The universal power of one
But it don't mean nothing
If it all comes undone

Fly away, if you fly away
You might die today
If you fly, fly

Gimme some love
Gimme some skin
If we ain't got that then we ain't got much
And we ain't got nothing, nothing

You're left with nothing
And nothing's what you've got when you ain't got no one, no one
You could have had the lot and if it's over today
You'll never get that thing you had together, no way
You only get it once

Fly away
If you fly, If you fly

Gimme some love
Gimme some skin
If we ain't got that then we ain't got much
And we ain't got nothing, nothing

We ain't got nothing, we ain't got nothing
A day's a number
Don't remember how you found it
You will never feel the same
And forever have to take it for granted
Don't remember our mistake

Gimme some love
Gimme some skin
If we ain't got that then we ain't got much
And we ain't got nothing, nothing


looking for a place to land
There was a man in his car trying to talk to me
He drove a pontiac, red, 1963
He shouted numbers and neighbourhood streets
I said "I wouldn't know, I wouldn't know"
And then I said to myself "what's he looking for"
An illegitimate son with an open door
Or else the calling from God he could not ignore

I guess in my own way
Just like him I'm wandering, wondering runaway
But aren't we all just

Looking for a place to land
Looking for a friend to call
Looking for a destination, conversation, fascination, to protect us from the fall
Looking for the one to love
Looking for a brand new day
Looking for a reason to stand
Looking for a place to land

There was a girl on a train out of Santa Fe
Found her husband in bed with her sister, hey
She left her soul and her kids when she ran away
Where do you go? Where do you go?

Sometimes the love that you lose is the love you find
Sometimes the pain is the doorway to peace of mind
No matter how hard you try you just can't rewind
Now that you know - Where do you go?

I guess in my own way
Just like her I'm wandering, wondering runaway
But aren't we all just

Looking for a place to land
Looking for a friend to call
Looking for a destination, conversation, fascination, to protect us from the fall
Looking for the one to love
Looking for a brand new day
Looking for a reason to stand
Looking for a place to land

I guess in my own way
Just like them I'm wandering, wondering runaway
But aren't we all just

Looking for a place to land
Looking for a friend to call
Looking for a destination, conversation, fascination, to protect us from the fall
Looking for the one to love
Looking for a brand new day
Looking for a reason to stand
Looking for a place to land

 

 
   
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